Page 113 of CowSex
“Why’d you marry her then?”
“I think I did it to prove that I could. I felt so cold, alone, and cut-off after what Dani pulled on me. When Lucy came along and tried to convince me that she could make me love again, I let her. I didn’t wanna die old, lonely, and bitter. I didn’t wanna be raising my boy with that as a role model, so I went with it.”
“That’s really sad.”
“No shit.”
“So tomorrow, when your son gets here, what’s gonna be the go between you and me? You introducing me as the lodger, your new bird, what?”
“New bird?”
“Girlfriend. Bird is just a term for a female where I come from.”
“Men call their woman ‘a bird’?”
“Not justtheirwoman, all women.”
“And you don’t mind?”
“No, why would I?”
“I’m not sure. You’re not offended?”
“Not at all. It’s not a derogatory term. Anyway, that’s beside the point. What are we telling your kid?”
“My kid’s nineteen-years-old, he can handle the truth.”
“And what’s that?”
He wiggles his toes against my flesh under the water again.
“You fishing for something here, Essex?”
“Not at all.”
I lie.
I want the title.
I want it all.
He grins at me, knowing full well that he just busted me. I suck in my cheeks and try not to smile back.
“That you’re my woman. That you’re here from England for a visit and you plan on staying a while.”
“And what about your little girl?”
“Yeah, that situation I’m not so sure about.”
“Why?”
“She’s never seen me with another woman. She’s only four-years-old. She’s a girl. I don’t know, Essex, I don’t know what the right thing is to do.”
“Are we gonna share a bedroom while she’s here?”
I want her to know that I mean something to her dad, but I don’t want to traumatise the kid. I’ve no clue how to handle this situation. Judging by the look on Koa’s face, he doesn’t know, either.
“Ya know, Essex? The man in me, the man you’ve turned me into the last few days, wants me to say yeah, let's do this. Let's just put it out there to the world that as crazy and fucked up of a situation as this is, we’re just gonna roll with it and give it a chance. But the dad in me—” He looks at me and shakes his head. “The father in me is terrified that my little girl is gonna love the shit outta you, Essex. And then I’m gonna fuck things up, and she’s gonna lose you and never forgive me.”
