Page 62 of CowSex
“Oh fuck me sideways, now he’s calling me baby. Hope you’ve got a mop and bucket handy.”
He chuckles, which means his stomach moves, which in turn has his hips and therefore his dick doing the same. I keep my head tilted back and close my eyes, letting my body absorb and enjoy the sensation.
“Gracie, would you look at me?”
I slowly move my head and open my eyes to meet his.
“I don’t want this to change us,” he says quietly.
“What?” My heart hammers and my insides perform origami on themselves as I look over his face.
“I want you, Essex. I want you so fucking bad it’s painful, but I don’t want this to change us, you and me, what we’ve got.”
His palms slide down my hips and rub over the tops of my thighs; we both watch his movements before he looks back up at me.
“I just need you to know that this can only be a temporary fix. I’m not looking for anything more, and I’m not the guy to give you that house full of babies you say you want. I’ve got my family, and I’m done with marriage. I just need you to know all of that.”
My throat feels tight, and my nose starts to tingle. I’m getting upset, and I don’t know why.
Yes, I do, that’s a fucking lie. I want more. It might only be a fantasy, because, what else could it be after such a short space of time? But just for a few seconds, I allow myself to get inside my head. I build us a whole life together. I allow myself to want him, want him to be the one. I imagine living here in this cabin with him. Helping raise his children as well as our own. I imagine dogs and maybe a horse and perhaps chickens. Oh, wait, will chickens attract snakes? I’ve seen John Wayne films, watched him shoot rattlesnakes, and what about coyotes and bears. Oh, fuck me, I hadn’t even considered the bears. Perhaps we shouldn’t live here. Maybe Essex is a much better option? There are no bears at Lakeside.
I shake my head, but I’m not entirely sure what I’m saying no to, the ending of my fantasy probably. Reality hits me, and I know that I have to accept this as the rebound sex that it is, or I have to put a stop to things now.
Right now.
“Do you get bears in Colorado?”
“What?”
“What about rattlesnakes and coyotes?”
“Gracie, did you hear what I just said?”
“I heard.”
I smile down at him and decide to be honest. “I understand what you’re saying, Cowboy, but you need to know that I can’t promisenotto get attached.”
“Then perhaps we should leave well alone and go to our separate rooms.”
That makes my stomach lurch.
“Is that what you really want?”
“Fuck no. I want inside you.”
“And that’s it.” I don’t say it as a question. I state it as a fact. Because that’s what it is. He wants to fuck me, and that’s all he wants.
Can I do that? Give him that? Probably not. I know myself well enough to know what I like, and Koa Carmichael is at the top of that list right now, that won’t have changed in the morning.
But right here, right now. I’m willing to take the risk.
I think.
I’m a thirty-two-year-old single woman with a hard, hot man between her legs. My heart might suffer the consequences long term, but my vagina is gonna be oh so grateful for the short. Or maybe forever.
“Tell you what, Cowboy, let’s not plot, plan, or overthink what happens afterwards, let’s just go with the flow and see where it takes us.”
“Sounds like a plan to me, Essex. Now get your damn clothes off.”
