Page 106 of Marley
Len had confirmed with the management of every act performing or hosting, as well as all the television companies that would be televising the event. We didn’t have a single slot left to fill. In fact, we were using some A-listers just to present as we just couldn’t fit them into the show.
The event had gone from strength to strength and now raised money the entire year, but the concert was still our biggest fundraiser.
The donations that came in went to the charities that were closest to our hearts. Myself, Len, Jimmie, Cam, George, and Ash, all picked charities linked to things that had impacted on our lives, and which we thought Maca would be proud to be associated with.
Georgia and Cam were passionate about helping low income families obtain fertility treatment, helping young drug users rehabilitate, and bereavement counselling aimed specifically at sole survivors of accidents or trauma.
Len and Jim had started their own charity that built recording studios in inner city and rural areas, which were available, free of charge to anyone that wanted to come in and lay down tracks. CC music, mine and Lens label, had now signed five acts that had made demo’s using these facilities, and it was something that I too had become equally passionate about. We were lucky when we were starting out, my dad believed and invested in us, helping to get our first demo out there.
Ash and I were patrons of a lot of the charities the foundation supported, but the closest to our heart was one that ran respite care, provided emergency accommodation, counselling and anything else that was needed for the children of substance abusers.
I had eventually found out from Ash, the reason she had no contact with her parents, and her story was truly horrifying, and sadly, not uncommon.
It was the night that we’d brought Joe home from the hospital. She stood watching over him as he slept in his Moses basket in our front room. I was enjoying the sight when I realised Ashley’s shoulders were shaking.
“Ash? Baby?” She turned to look at me, tears streaming down her face.
“What if I’m no good at this? What if I turn out to be just like my parents?”
“No baby, no. You’ll be great—fucking amazing. We’ll learn together. We’ve got this, baby, we’ve got this.”
I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. When her tears slowed down, I moved us over to the sofa and sat with her in my lap.
She’d still never told me much about her home life. I knew she would when she was ready so I’d left it alone. That night she was ready and I couldn’t believe what she told me.
“My parents weren’t nice people, Marley. My dad’s a junkie, my mum an alcoholic, who’s been on the game my entire life to support both of their addictions. They had my brother serving up for them from the time he was eleven to help bring in more money to feed their own habits. He was jacking up heroin by the time he turned thirteen. He did it to try and forget what he was, what they’d turned him into.” She cried hard and pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes and my heart just broke for her.
“A dealer?” I asked.
She shook her head and cried even harder. “No.” She almost choked as she struggled to get the words out. “They had him working the streets with my mum. He was eleven years old the first time they sold his arse.”
“Oh fuck, Ash, fuck, baby. You never said. Why’d you never tell me?”
Her whole body was shaking from her sobs, and as much as I wanted to hold her, I needed to hold my son. I sat her on the sofa, fetched Joe from where he was sleeping and placed him in Ashley’s arms, then I wrapped them both in mine.
“He was a great brother, Marls. I know what everyone thinks because of his habit, and the fact that he’s always in and out of prison, but he did what he could for me. They would’ve had me go the same way as him, but he put a stop to it. He was already sixteen when I turned thirteen, and they tried to get me on the streets. Ryan went mad and threatened to call the police and social services. He was making good money from dealing and was able to go rent a one bedroom flat from a mate. I went and lived with him, the problem was he was always going missing, going on benders, and getting himself locked up. Just before I left school, we’d had to go back and stay with them, my parents, for a week as we’d been kicked out of his flat and had nowhere to go. I came home from school to find a strange bloke in my bedroom. He was someone they owed money to, and they’d sold him my virginity to settle the debt.
I was just so unbelievably lucky that Ryan heard me scream as I tried to fight the bloke off. He had to fight both my mum and my dad to get into my bedroom, but he did it. Then he stabbed the bloke in the shoulder, who at that stage had me pinned underneath him on the floor as he tried to rip my school uniform off.”
I felt like I was gonna pass out as she told me her story. I stroked the soft dark hair on my little boys head and kissed Ashley’s temple, breathing her in, both actions calming me down.
“We got out that night and slept in someone’s shed that we broke into. I had to go to school the next day to do an exam. I was still in the clothes I’d worn the day before. I looked a fucking mess. Jimmie found me crying in the toilets.” That memory brings a smile to her face. “She lent me some make-up and I felt a bit better. I went and stayed with her for a few days and then Ry managed to get somewhere else for us, so I went with him.”
She brings Joe up to her chest and we both breathe him in. “He tried, Marls, he really tried, but they’d ruined him.” She cried again as she looked up at me. “The drink and the drugs were the only way he could cope with his demons. He just kept getting banged up and he was always nicking money off of me, so in the end I moved out. That place you found me was all I could afford.”
“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry baby. So sorry.”
Joe made a little noise and we both studied him for a while. It was all we seemed to do since he’d been born, just looked at him in wonder.
“Ash, I swear to you that we’ll give this little boy everything that you never had. We’ll give him so much love, we’ll all be falling over it. He will never spend a day of his life not feeling loved, safe, and protected.”
“Will you help me be a good mum?”
“No, baby, I won’t need to. I already know that you’re gonna be the best mum there ever was.”
“Can we call him Joseph Ryan?” She asked quietly ... hopefully.
“Yes, we can.”
