Page 5 of A Different Kind Of December
“Doing better now that I’ve had a cuddle.”
Kiki throws herself down beside Lu and me, wrapping her arms around both of us, and sounds breathless as she says with her lips pressed against my cheek, “Sorry today is a sad day for you. I hate this day every year and just wish I could make it better.”
I smile.
And I cry.
“You do make it better, Kiks. You, Lu, George, Harry, and Dad. You all make it better. Not just this day, but every day of my life.”
Neither of my girl's replies. We just hold on to each other while the birds sing their dawn chorus and we gently swing back and forth in the cold, early morning air. I take a moment to appreciate how lucky I’ve been in my life to be loved the way that I am.
I hear the door slide open again.
“What the...what the fuck are you doing? What’s wrong?” Cam’s voice booms across the decking.
“Just giving Mumma some love on her sad day,” Kiks states, her mouth still pressing against my cheek.
“George?”
He’s worried. I know him well enough to be able to hear it in his voice.
I wipe my face on Kiki’s shoulder and look over it at my husband.
“You all right, babe?”
“I’m all right. The girls were just looking after me.”
I kiss both of my daughters on the tops of their heads. “You best get over to the stables, else you’ll be late for school.”
They each kiss me on a cheek, stand, kiss their dad good morning, and then walk side by side across the grounds of our home towards the stables.
I watch them for a few seconds. The emotions caused by that little moment we just shared threatening to burst out of me in the form of heaving sobs and tears.
I turn my face towards Cam, my eyes meeting his as he studies me warily. Eyebrows drawn down, his lips pressed together, forming a plump pink line amongst the salt-and-pepper whiskers of his beard.
My husband is so fucking hot.
“Kitten?” he questions again. Despite him having to witness me falling apart in some way or another on this date for so many years, I can still hear the concern in his voice.
“I love you.” I know he knows this, but I want and need for him to hear me say it.
“I know. I love the fuck out of you, too.” His wet tongue slips out of his mouth and slides back and forth across his bottom lip.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Come over here.”
His hands go to his hips, settling just over the waistband of a pair of jogging bottoms. His broad top half is covered by a grey hoodie. He again studies me for a long moment, but when I give him my best sad-eyed, pleading look, he relents and cautiously moves towards me.
My big, confident, handsome Tiger is always unsure of what mental state I’m going to be in on these kinds of days. Usually, he stands back, observes, and works out on instinct what I need from him.
Cam sits down heavily in the chair beside me, causing it to swing back and forth. Sliding his arm around my shoulders, he pulls me into him and kisses the top of my head. I slide my own arm across his flat belly and pull myself closer. He then covers us both with the blanket I have on my lap.
“What’s going on?” he eventually asks.
“Nothing much. I came out here to drink my coffee, the girls came out and caught me having a moment, and then the three of us shared another moment. Then you came out, making my morning perfect.”
“Babe, it’s fucking freezing. If you come back inside, I’ll make you nice and warm and show you what a perfect morning’s really all about.”
