Page 20 of The Story of Us
“George, he wouldn’t, he loves you, he wants to marry you, fucking hell, don’t be so harsh, it was probably all Marley’s fault anyway, you saw him at the weekend, he’s socharlied up all the time, he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Even as she spoke I could feel the little man in my chest, with his trowel, his bricks and his little pile of cement, he was building a wall around my heart, to protect it from what was to come.
The next few days were horrible, the worst I had ever endured in my short life, days that would change me forever.
My Dad and the lawyers had the boys out of custody and performing on stage by Friday night. I heard nothing from Sean all day Saturday, my Dad phoned Saturday afternoon to tell us that Haley had withdrawn the allegations and had actually admitted to being the owner of all the drugs that were found in the room. The boys had no gigs until Wednesday night in Stockholm so straight after the show Saturday night, they were going to fly back to England for a couple of days, I thought Sean would have phoned before they left but I heard nothing and was becoming more and more pissed off with him.
My Mum, Jimmie and I went for an Indian Saturday night and drank two bottles of wine, Jimmie and I were fine but my little skinny Mum, who wasn’t a big drinker, was absolutely hilarious when we got home and started playing records. The three of us danced around my parent’s front room and sang into whisks and spoons before collapsing on the sofa in a fit of giggles. I was barely hanging on, I was heartbroken, I was sad, I felt like Sean had abandoned me for this new life but I refused point blank to let anyone know how I was feeling and just pretended that my tears were from laughter and not because my heart was shattered.
Our front door unlocked at about two thirty that morning, my Mum was sleeping in my Dad’s armchair and Jimmie and I were on each end of the sofa when I felt soft lips brush against mine, my eyes fluttered open and it took me a few seconds to realise he was really there and I wasn’t dreaming. I don’t know why I did it but for some reason I pushed myself by my heals away from him, backing myself into the corner of the sofa, his beautiful face fell and he held his breath for a few seconds, his face still close enough for me to watch as he closed his big chocolate eyes and to marvel at his long, dark lashes that fanned his cheeks.
“Georgia, I’m so, so sorry.” I folded my arms across my chest and nodded at him. My Mum stood from the chair gave a cuddle to my Dad and Lennon, Marley had gone into the kitchen area and was sitting at the breakfast bar, I watched as my parents exchanged a look, then both looked at my brother, I stood and gave Len a cuddle, but I ignored Marley.
“Well, now you’re all home safe, I’m going to bed, night, night.”
“Georgia wait, we need to talk.” He looked tired and delicious and I loved him so much but I was hurt and angry.
“Do we?”
He turned and looked at my Dad. “Frank, dya mind if we go up to Georgia’s room so we can talk?”
My Dad’s eyes shifted to mine, “George?” he asked with eyebrows raised.
“Fine,” I huffed, I knew I was behaving like a complete brat but basically, that’s what I was, a sixteen year old brat, a really pissed off brat.
I threw myself on my bed, scooted up and sat with my back against the headboard; Sean lent on my closed bedroom door. “I didn’t do it G.”
“I didn’t think you did.”
“So why are you so pissed off with me?”
“Why was she in your room Sean?” He looks down at the floor and shakes his head.
“I was so drunk G, I’d done a couple of lines of coke, Marley wanted to get hold of her but she wouldn’t come back to the room unless I went.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did she want you to go back with them?”
He takes a few steps toward my bed, “George.”
“Why Sean, tell me why?” He sits on the edge of my bed and looks at me.
“She wanted a threesome.” I wanted to be sick, I wanted to punch him, and I wanted to kill her.
“And you went?’ He nodded.
“I’m so sorry G, I was off my face.”
“You were drunk and off your face and you went back to your room with Marley and Haley the whore for a threesome?”
“I didn’t know what I was doing G, I went back so that Marley could get hold of her, then I was just gonna leave them to it…” he trailed off.
It suddenly struck me, I wasn’t crying, I hadn’t cried since he called me Thursday night, I was hurt and angry and emotional but I didn’t cry, I just let that little man keep building that wall, higher and higher, one course at a time.
“So what happened?” He drags his hands through his hair and I want to do the same but I won’t, I can’t, I need him to look me in the eye as he explains what happened, I need him to tell me that he didn’t touch her, that he never laid a finger on her. I sit and stare at him for a few long moments and notice that his hair is almost perfectly straight now, the curls that he had when we first met have gone, he’s wearing it longer again. When did it grow? When did his curls disappear? It’s a simple observation but one that makes me realise he’s changing and because he’s not with me, I’m not noticing, I’m not part of his everyday world, this boy who’s skin I have known as well as my own these past few years has grown and changed and he’s done it all without me.
“I was so drunk.”
