Page 23 of The Story of Us
My hand instinctively reaches up to the delicate silver necklace I still wear, it’s the only part of him that I’ve allowed to stay in my life and that’s only because I can’t actually see it, well I can if I look in a mirror but it’s been there so long now, that I don’t really notice it, it’s part of me, of who I am, exactly like he is.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
My head is spinning and it’s not because of the wine.
“Because it’s what you wanted, because, until today, I thought you were right, I thought you had every right to stay away from him, I thought it was the right thing for you but now I’m not so sure.”
Ashley came back at that moment, with another bottle of wine and a bottle of champagne, which she waved in front of her. “This ladies, is compliments of the gentleman at the bar.”
A barman appeared at our table with three champagne flutes and proceeded to pop the cork and fill the glasses. We thanked him and turned around to thank the blokes at the bar; there were four of them. One looked like he’d just come from the golf course, one looked like he’d just come from the gym and the other two from the office, one in a suit, one in a pair of dark fitted trousers and a white shirt, his sleeves rolled up to the elbows, he had his back to me and I couldn’t see his face but I could see he had a lovely arse and shiny black hair It was quite long but not cut in the mullet that everyone seemed to be favouring at the moment, just long and pushed back, he was tall, very tall, with a broad back and shoulders. I smiled politely at all the others, mouthed cheers and tilted my glass toward them, just as I was about to look away, he turned and his eyes met mine.
Fuck!
My heart gave a little judder, it was like after three years, it was letting me know it was there and capable of doing more than just keeping me alive but I didn’t want it to, I wanted it to focus on just one job, doing nothingbutkeeping me alive. I didn’t want it to feel and I certainly didn’t want it to react. His brown eyes remained locked on mine as I took a swig of my drink and as I did, he smiled, very slightly at me with his soft, full lips and once again, my heart stopped for a split second and then picked up its rhythm in my chest.
Fuck!
Fuck!
And fuck!
“Fuck G, he’s nice.” Jimmie nudged me and I almost spat my drink out as she said out loud, exactly what I had been thinking.
I noticed that he laughed as he watched me wipe champagne from my chin and his eyebrows rose slightly as I sucked it off the side of my finger, he shook his head and looked away and for the very first time in three long years. I felt the stirrings of desire, deep down in my belly and I knew that I had to stay the fuck away from this man; because there was no way that I would ever get involved with anyone who stirred that kind of reaction in me again. Ever.
After drinking the bubbly and the bottle of wine, Ashley stayed at the wine bar with some friends, while Jimmie and I jumped in a taxi and went back to her house. Lennon was in front of the telly watching a video of the band and as I stepped through the living room door, there, filling the screen, in all his glorious beauty was the love of my life. The room swayed as I quickly closed my eyes for a few moments but something inside me forced them to open and take just one more look, as soon as Len looked over his shoulder and saw me, he ejected the video, then stood as I finally dragged my eyes away from the now blue screen, I noticed that he was smiling at me sadly.
“Sorry George, I didn’t realise you were coming back here.”
I shrugged my shoulders and let out a deep sigh. “It’s okay Len; it’s not your fault.”
He held out his arms and I walked straight into them; my brothers were all tall, like my Dad and I loved how safe I felt when they wrapped their arms around me, sadly Sean was the one monster my Dad and my brothers weren’t able to save me from, I was just going to have to carry on fighting this one on my own. “How are ya George, you really need to put on some weight.”
“Yeah thanks Len, good to see you too.” He kissed the top of my head.
“Shut up, it’s always good to see ya you know that, I just wish that I got to see more of ya, more often. How many times a week are you hitting the gym now?”
I shrugged. “Well we’ve been busy with work, the new shop opens in Epping at the end of September, so we’ve been buying in stock and recruiting new staff, so in the last couple of weeks I’ve only managed a couple of hours three times a week.”
“Three times a week, is that all? You need to eat more and gym and work a bit less.”
I go to speak but Jimmie comes out of the toilet where she’s been since we got back. “Leave her alone Len, she looks fine, you look fine G, skinny as fuck but fine.”
I sigh wearily again and shake my head as I sit down in the armchair. “So put the kettle on then Len and get the biscuits out, I’m starving.”
I kick off my shoes and tuck my legs under me; Jim sits in the armchair opposite me and does the same. Their house is an old 1930’s detached place that my Dad’s firm extended and fixed up for them, it has big bay windows to the front and French doors to the back looking out over the huge garden. Their wedding was all booked for June next year and they were going straight in for a baby. I hate to admit that I was jealous but that’s the only thing I could think was causing the ache that I felt inside when I thought about the domestic bliss they shared.
“So… ” I tried to sound more upbeat than I felt. “What do you need to tell me?”
Len looked over from the open plan kitchen at Jimmie. “You told her?”
“Not yet but I’m about to.” She looks warily at me and takes a deep breath.
“I was chatting on the phone today with a girl from Kombat Rocks management team, Carnage are going to tour the States next year and the record label wants KR on the bill for some of the shows. Anyway, Rocco being the wanker that he is, is refusing to be classed as the supporting act, although technically, that’s exactly what they’d be doing but he wants it worded something like a double headline concert. Anyway this Carla I’m talking to on the phone is telling me how Rocco is such a knob and how nobody likes him and they can’t believe the label would put the two bands together after the way Rocco set Maca and Marley up before, so I’m like, what dya mean, set them up?”
Then she proceeds to tell me that Rocco deliberately got them on ecstasy that day because he knew it would get them horny and off their nuts, then he convinced Whorely to get them back to their room so she could cry rape, he would be there, waiting and taking photos of it all and… it was all, to get back, at you.”
I close my eyes and swallow down the bile that keeps making its way up my throat. “The rape cry was just to get the Police involved so that Carnage would hopefully get kicked off the tour. Whorely never had any intention of going through with it so when your Dad turned up and offered her ten grand to drop the charges; she was over the fucking moon, that was just…”
