Page 24 of The Story of Us
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, my Dad paid her ten grand?”
Lennon puts three cups of tea down on the coffee table, I lean forward and pick mine up, I know it’s going to be too hot but I need something to do while I try and absorb all of this info; Len stands in front of me with his hands on his hips and says, “Yeah, didn’t you know that?”
I shake my head. “No, I didn’t, anyway, carry on Jim.” I nod toward her to keep talking.
“Well you know the rest, Rocco sent copies of the pictures to the press and assumed that the images, along with the rape allegations would get Carnage off the tour and would split you and Sean up.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “He had half his wishes come true, the other half had the complete opposite effect, meaning Carnage are now bigger than KR and Rocco is thoroughly pissed off.”
She looks at me and shrugs, I don’t know what she expects me to say, yeah I’m well and truly pissed off that Rocco and Whorely plotted and schemed and got their wish in breaking up Sean and me, but at the end of the day, he did what he did and for me, the issue was never about the rape allegation, I knew that was a lie. I just knew, but Sean going back to the room for a threesome that was the truth, her getting naked and letting them snort blow off of her body, that was the truth and that was what I couldn’t forgive him for.
“Well, thanks for letting me know Jim, I hope if you ever come across either one of that scheming pair of cunts you will smack them right between the eyes for me but at the end of the day, he was there, he was in that room, snorting blow off her tits, just four days after declaring undying love and proposing marriage to me and there are pictures to prove it so it doesn’t change anything. Nothing will change the fact that he was in that room, with that slut, all that’s changed are the circumstances that led to it and yes I am angry that they set him up, but that just goes to show how easy it was for him to go astray, how easily he was tempted.”
I lean forward and dig into the biscuit barrel; I find a Mcvities chocolate digestive and dunk it in my tea. I actually want to curl up in a corner and rock, but I do what I have been doing for the last three years, I shut down my emotions and carry on with my numb little life.
“Do you know how much he still loves you George? He’s such a mess on the inside, he hides it well but I know, I’ve held him so many times now, when he’s had a few drinks, the conversation always ends up about you and always ends in tears.” I raise my eyebrows and look at Lennon.
“And there’s been no other women, since we broke up, there’s been no one else?”
Len pulls his head back and looks at me as if I’m mad. “I never said that G, there’s been sex, of course there’s been sex but it doesn’t mean anything, they mean nothing.”
“Well that’s where me and him differ coz those birds he fucks, mean a lot to me, they mean he’s moved on, while I can still barely leave the house. Tonight was my first girls night out in over three years, I don’t even look at other blokes, I can’t, it’s pointless, because all I ever see is him and that’s okay, it’s my issue, not his and it’s just something I’m finally learning to live with.”
Lennon lets out a long sigh. “Would you talk to him, if I could get the two of you together, would you talk to him?” I shake my head.
“Len, apart from business trips and meetings, tonight is the first time I’ve socialised in over three years, I don’t watch telly, I don’t listen to the radio, I don’t read magazines, all because, just the thought of someone mentioning his name, catching a glimpse of his face or hearing his voice is much too painful. But I’m getting better, it doesn’t hurt any less, I’m just finally getting to grips with how I handle my feelings. Tonight was really hard for me but I did it, and I want to keep going forward and if I see or hear from him, it’ll probably just set me back, so no, not yet, I’m not ready.”
I look at both of them. “I know he’ll be at the wedding next year and I’m gearing myself up for that to be the day that I am ready to see him again. I’m not promising I’ll look at him, I doubt very much I’ll talk to him but I will do my very best to be in the same room as him, because I love the two of you and I know it will make you happy.”
CHAPTER 10
Over the next few weeks I went back to the wine bar with Ashley and every time I saw tall, dark and handsome there and every time, he would smile, nod and send over a bottle of champagne, but make no effort to come and talk to me. After about three weeks, Ash finally convinced me to go out clubbing after we had drinks; my Dad had bought into a club in the West End of London so I’d got him to put us on the guest list. I had no idea what to expect but was willing to give it a go. TDH, as Ash and I had nicknamed him, had sent over his usual bottle of bubbly and when we were leaving he clamped his hand around my wrist and gently pulled me into him. “Enjoy the rest of your night Georgia.”
My head jerked back, not just because I was surprised that he knew my name, but because of the sensation that shot through me, caused by his hand on my wrist, the sound of his voice and the feel of his breath on the side of my face, neck and in my ear. I swallowed hard and looked him right in the eye, then over his face, he was bloody handsome and a lot older than me, I was about to turn twenty, he looked thirty-ish.
I don’t know where I found her, but suddenly, confident little fifteen year old George appeared. “Thank you for the champagne, but whether I enjoy the rest of my night, has absolutely fuck all to do with you, now take your hands off me and don’t touch me uninvited again… Ever!” I go to yank my wrist from his grasp when his hand clamps onto me tighter.
“Such an angry little kitten, with such sad eyes. Who hurt you Georgia? Who took the light out of those pretty blue eyes ehh?”
My first instinct is to slap him but he has a hold of my right wrist and I’ve drunk a bottle of Moet and two Southern Comfort and lemonades so I’m not sure how good my aim will be with my right.
“Let go of my wrist,” I say quietly through gritted teeth, he does exactly the opposite and pulls me in to his chest and places his hand at the small of my back, pressing me into him. Fucking hell, he’s got a hard on and its pressing right into my belly. I give out a little gasp - shit, shit, shit, he knows I can feel him.
“Next time you walk into my bar, me and you are going to find a quiet corner and sit and have a chat and you kitten are going to tell me all about the arsehole that made you so sad and so angry.”
Shit, he owns the place? Explains why he can afford to keep dishing out bottles of Moet, I bet he does it to all the birds he fancies and there was me thinking I was all it and a bit!
I keep looking into his eyes. “Well, looks like I won’t be walking into your bar again and best start looking for somewhere else to drink.”
He takes a step back and looks me up and down. “You’ll be back, if you’re not, then I’ll just have to come and find you; now do as I say, go and have some fun, I want those eyes to have some light in them next time I see you.” He turns me around, smacks my arse and sends me on my way.
For two whole weeks I avoid the wine bar, forcing Ashley to drink in the pub down the road with me instead, it’s not as nice and twice I have heard songs played in there that I think are by Carnage. I haven’t heard any of their latest stuff but I would know Sean’s voice anywhere. Both times I ducked into the toilets and waited long enough for the song to end but we never hang around there long, after the great night we had at my Dad’s new place, I’ve decided I have a few years of clubbing to catch up on and we’ve been to three other clubs since then. Ash is still as wild as she was at school and loves a few lines of coke on a night out and I must admit to having joined her every time we’ve been out lately. I just love the instant rush and the confidence it gives me; the new drug of choice on the club scene is ecstasy, but I remember Sean and Jimmie telling me it makes you horny and that’s the last thing I need to be feeling, more so than I already am lately. For the first time since I was of an age to think about boys in any kind of romantic or sexual way, my thoughts haven’t all been about Sean, he’s there, always, painfully so, but lurking in the corner now, with that smile on those soft lips and a spark in those warm brown eyes is Mr TDH. I still have no idea of his name and have no intention of going back to the wine bar to find out, not yet anyway.
It’s a Thursday night in the middle of September, my birthday is this coming Saturday and I’m going out for drinks and then on to my Dad’s club with Ash, Jimmie and a few of the other girls that work at the shop for us. I’ve been in the West End meeting with buyers all day with my Mum and have just called into the Brentwood shop to pick up my new dress I ordered in for Saturday night. Ashley and Lorna are the only two staff left as it’s just fifteen minutes till closing.
I notice Ash looks terrible. “You okay babe, you look rough as fuck.”
She takes a deep sigh, shakes her head and looks at me with a frown. “I came on this morning, my belly’s cramping like a bitch, I need to go home, get my jarmies on and curl up with my Danielle Steele book and a hot water bottle.”
