Page 104 of All the Forbidden Things
I shake my head in disbelief, although, I shouldn’t really be surprised. This whole situation is on me. What the fuck was I thinking, inviting her to stay here?
Anger ignites inside me at what those conniving bitches have tried to pull, the fact they’ve upset Billie so much.
“She asked if she could come over to my place so you two could crack on, so I may have told a little fib.”
“You lied?” I question.
“I lied. I told her I was going to a friend’s. That’s why I needed the drink.”
“She told me you told her you had a hot date.”
Billie pulls a face, and if I weren’t so angry right now, I’d laugh at the way it screws up.
“What the fuck?”
“She’s a liar,” we both say together.
“They’re both liars, Bamm. I think Deana’s doing nothing but cause trouble. She keeps trying to convince me she’s on my side, not Whitney’s, and I think she’s full of shit.”
“She’s done the same to me, basically told me Whitney deserves everything she’s got.”
“They’re playing games. Games they won’t win, but while they’re playing them, they have the potential to cause nothing but grief between us. I don’t want that. I’ve missed you these past few days. You’ve kept away when you should’ve talked to me.”
I want to lean in and touch her, her hand, her face, her hair. Any part of her, I’m just desperate for some contact. But I hold back. I need the first move to come from her.
She nods. “I should’ve, but please try and remember, I’m twenty-two. I’m not yet all of the things you’re used to in a woman.”
That reminder of her age should pour cold water all over my thoughts, and what I’m feeling, but I obviously have no soul because I don’t feel a thing.
“You’re plenty of the things Bamm, more than enough.”
I watch her swallow, enjoying that she’s affected by my words.
“But next time, and since this is Whit we’re dealing with, there will be a next time, you need to talk to me. Once she’s served with those divorce papers, once she finds out aboutus, she’ll up her game playing and things are gonna get a lot worse. You know that, right?”
Her eyes scan my face, but she remains silent.
“You know, this conversation would be so much better if you were sitting closer.”
I finally get my first real smile from her in days. It causes a tingle in my balls, which, I won’t lie, makes me smile.
“Tell me about theusbit and then I’ll decide if I wanna move closer,” she finally says.
I let out a long slow breath, my eyes darting all over her face as I debate how much I want to tell her, how much I want to admit about the way she makes me feel.
“These last few days have been shit,” I start. “You came back into my life less than a week ago, and already, I don’t think I want you to ever leave it.”
I watch as she tucks her legs to the side, pulls a cushion onto her lap, and holds it against her.
“A week, Bamm, that’s all it’s taken. I can’t even explain it to myself, but you described it best when you called it a crackle. I don’t know for sure what that means or how long it will last, but it’s there. And I don’t wanna ignore it.”
She nods, keeping her eyes focused on my face, occasionally shifting them down to dart across my chest, but mostly, her eyes are on mine.
“I want to explore what we have, what this crackle is all about, but it couldn’t have happened at a worse possible time in my life.” I shrug and give her a small smile. “But fuck that. Fuck all of that. I can’t ignore it. I don’t want to, and I need you to know how I feel.”
“And how is that? How do you feel?”
“How I feel is almost an album’s worth of songs written in less than a week. It’s lying in bed every night, hating that you’re over here and I’m over there. It’s watching you with my baby and wanting more babies. Red-headed girls, dark-headed boys.”
