Page 1 of Conviction
Ileant back on mybrother’s car and took a long draw on my cigarette, blowing out the smoke as I looked up at the sky. I wanted to be sick, my stomach was churning and my head was beginning to ache. I flicked the cigarette to the ground and watched as it rolled into a drain.
The car park at the supermarket was almost empty. The last of the shoppers had gone home. Home with their cases of beer, their sausage rolls and party poppers. Home to their families to start the celebrations that would see in the New Year, the new millennium and for me, what should’ve been a whole new life. But she’s not there, she didn’t come.
All of the planning, working long hours so we’d have enough money for a deposit on a flat or a room and she just didn’t turn up. She was over an hour late. I’d called and called her mobile, left messages and sent texts but nothing, not a word.
My heart actually hurt, it was fucking painful just to breathe. After everything we’d been through to get to that point, I just couldn’t believe she’d not turn up, without a single fucking word.
My brother pressed on the hooter of the car and I almost jumped out of my skin.
“What the fuck, Miles?” I shouted. He laughed as I glared. I wanted to cry, like a big fucking pussy, I actually wanted to cry.
“She ain’t coming, Reed. Your posh bird’s blown you out. Now come and get in the fucking motor, before you freeze your bollocks off.”
I chewed on the inside of my lip as I tried to make up my mind what to do. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and tried her number one more time. It once again went to answer phone.
“We’re done Meebs, we’re fucking done!” I ended the call and jumped into the passenger seat of the BMW my brother had just bought.
“You all right bro?” he asked. I hated it when Miles got all sensitive and caring; it made my throat tight and my eyes sting. I shrugged my shoulders and just kept staring ahead.
“She’s a nice girl and she’s fucking gorgeous, but she’s from a different world. Her old man and that stuck up bitch of a mother of hers were never gonna let this happen, and don’t get me started on that prick of a brother, he’s a complete nobjockey.”
We sat in silence for a few seconds. I couldn’t disagree. Everything he said was true. She was out of my league, but she loved me regardless. I know she did.
We’d met at primary school. I was two years older and she was tiny, like a fairy or an angel. She had the palest skin, the blondest hair and the bluest eyes and my belly would do strange things every time I saw her.
She was the best friend of my friend Josh’s sister. I would see her outside of school sometimes at their house and I think I knew even back then that I loved her, but I also knew even then that our worlds were different.
Her mum was some kind of councillor or government minister or something like that. Her dad was a police commissioner for the Met’ Police. My dad was an alcoholic and former soldier. My mum was dead.
When I was eleven, I left the primary school that I loved and went to the local secondary school. Josh went to the posh Catholic boy’s school a few miles away. He lasted two weeks before he was expelled and joined me and the rest of the commoners at our run-down establishment for education.
I didn’t see her much for the next few years, the occasional glimpse from Josh’s bedroom as she left or entered Sophie’s room that was about it. They were young and giggly. We were at secondary school, where the girls had curves and tits. Some of the older girls would let us have a touch or would give us a flash around the back of the gym block when they wanted to ponce a fag from us. There were some nice girls at our school, the good girls, but there were also a lot of sluts, which came in handy over the years. Like my brothers told me, those were the girls you practised on and practise we did. Thinking back now, that might’ve been how it all started. That need for control, to push boundaries, to see just how far you could make someone step out of their comfort zone and what they were prepared to give, take or do to get what they wanted.
It all started innocently enough, I’d managed to get Carly Simpson into a bedroom at a party one night. We were at the house of some kid called Colin from our school. His parents were on holiday and he was staying with his Nan, but putting his parents’ empty home to good use he had arranged a party. We were seventeen, but there were kids there much older, which meant plenty of alcohol and weed. So, I’d poured a shit load of Lambrini into Carly, given her a few toots on a joint and then convinced her to come upstairs with me, in the hope she’d let me come inside her, or over her, I wasn’t fussed. I was seventeen, I just wanted to come and I’d prefer it if there was a girl involved and not just my right hand. I wasn’t a virgin; that cherry had been well and truly popped a couple of years previous.
I’d kissed her senseless at first, got her all worked up nicely before I slid my hand over her ribs and up to her tits; brushing my hands over her nipples as they passed. I repeated the action until eventually, I brushed my thumbs backwards and forwards continuously. I was getting rougher and rougher each time until she was moaning into my mouth. Carly was eighteen and I knew a lot of boys had shagged her, two of my brothers included… at the same time.
“What d’ya want me to do to you, Carly? You wanna fuck?” She looked up at me with unfocused eyes whilst biting down on her bottom lip. “Can I fuck your mouth?” She nodded.
Quick as a flash I jumped up from the bed and got my dick out, just as I did, the door flew open and Josh was standing there. I looked him in the eye and then gestured slightly to where Carly was now sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Come in, shut the door.” I looked down at Carly waiting for her to object, but fuck me if she wasn’t smiling. I tilted her chin up so she was looking at me. “You want Josh to watch, or d’ya want us both?”
What?
I’d heard the rumours. She’d let Jed fuck her from behind while Miles face fucked her six months ago, so I knew she’d be up for it. I just wanted to see if I could push her a little bit further.
“You wanna fuck her cunt or her face, Josh?” I knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t gonna be wanting to put his dick anywhere near whatever Carly had going on between her legs. Most of the men in our town under thirty had been there and so had a few of the women from what I’d heard, and I most definitely wasn’t going there either.
“Face,” Josh replied.
“Me too. Can you manage both of us, Carls?” She thought about it for a second, then shrugged her shoulders.
“Don’t both come at once, else I’ll choke.
My sex life came toa grinding halt just two weeks later when Josh and Sophie’s parents threw a party on Christmas night. Josh was allowed to invite a mate and because I was at their house more than I was ever at my own shit tip, it was me that attended.
We’d been standing in the kitchen for about half an hour, admiring the wives of Joshua’s dad’s mates, when the girls walked in. They were just fifteen and were both now attending the all-girls Catholic school on the smart side of town. I’d never seen either of them in anything other than school uniform or casual clothes and when they walked into the kitchen to get a drink that night, I almost embarrassed myself like the teenage boy that I was and come in my pants.
