Page 57 of Conviction
I’m fucked.
So totally fucked.
She’s been back in my life for about twelve hours, and right now, if it were to become necessary in the next few minutes, I would be quite prepared to lay down my life for her.
“I should’ve been braver,” she says very quietly.
“What? No, no, this isn’t your fault.” I pull her into me, hold the sides of her face in each of my palms and tilt it so she has to look up at me.
“This isn’t your fault.” I kiss her gently on the mouth. “This isn’tyourfault,” I repeat.
“I gave them to your brother,” Josh says.
She stiffens instantly in my arms, her eyebrows pulled into a frown as she turns around to face Josh.
“What did you say?” Sophie asks before either of us do.
Josh looks at me while letting out a long sigh.
“I saw him in the pub one night, and I asked how Nina was doing. He said she was doing great and moving on with her life.” He switches his gaze to Meebs.
“I told him that you’d given me a couple of letters for Reed, but I hadn’t had a chance to get to see him.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Fuck!I fucked up.” He scratches the back of his head as realisation dawns on him.
“He told me he would talk to you and see if you still wanted the letters delivered. He text me the next day and said that you didn’t. Then he came around and collected them... he never, I never…” His eyes dart from mine to Meebs, and I know he’s feeling almost as gutted as we are right now. “I’m so sorry. I gave him the letters and never gave them a second thought. He never told you, did he?”
She stands rigid in my arms, staring ahead at nothing. Her fists opening and closing. She turns to Sophie.
“When I was in the hospital, and I asked you to call Conner—” Sophie starts to shake her head almost immediately.
“Holy fuck, Neen,” Sophie whispers.
“Why were you in the hospital? When?” Josh asks. Meebs ignores him.
“Why Soph, how? I asked you to call him. My phone was in your car, you had your phone on you. All you had to do was call him.”
“He offered Neen. He told me to stay with you. He said you needed me with you more than him. He said he called and called him. He even took my car keys and went and got your phone from the car and told me that he called from your phone, in case Reed didn’t recognise the number.”
I’m frozen to the spot, even my chest is barely moving as I take short breaths in and out. My arms and legs feel like lead weights and my skin prickles and tingles in the weirdest way.
Meebs turns and looks at me, her eyes wide with disbelief. The flush she wore on her beautiful face earlier is gone. Her skin is now so pale, it almost looks see through. She swallows hard.
“My brother… I, you don’t… I haven’t told you what he did.”
My world tilts. It spins off its axis, and I feel like I’m freefalling.
What did he do?
I’m going to kill him.
At that moment, there's no hesitation in my mind, not a single doubt. If she tells me that he laid a hand on her, if he touched her or even thought about touching her.
I. Will. Fucking. Kill. Him.
“What’d he do, Meebs?” I don’t mean to sound harsh, that’s just the way it comes out. Her face crumbles and never, for as long as I live will I forget the pain that’s etched across her features right now.
“He stole my life. My brother. He stole us.” She slides to the floor as she sobs. My reflexes are slow, but I manage to catch her before she hits the tiles.
I get on the floor with her and hold her while she cries. I’m still not entirely sure what exactly has gone on, but it obviously involves that little prick of a brother of hers, Pearce. PearcefuckingMatthews. My heart actually hurts the walls of my chest, it’s pounding so hard when I think about what he might’ve done.
