Page 127 of Loving Wild
My sister, who I’d totally forgotten was even there, stands at the side of the bed holding out a cup of water.
“Hey,” she says to Gabe. “I’m Vicki, Lauren’s sister, thought you might need this,” she gestures with a head tilt towards the cup as she talks. “It’s water, sorry, nothing stronger to offer right now.”
Gabe takes it, knocks the contents back and says, “Thanks. I’m Gabe, and I’m so fucking sorry about this.”
“Mate, lots going on, no need to apologise. Loz, we’re gonna go dump some of these containers. Help yourself to whatever, Gabe. Nice meeting you, we’ll be back in a minute,” Vicki says.
My mum remains unusually silent as I watch them both leave the room. My eyes shift back to Gabe to find his eyes dancing all over my face.
“You really okay?” he asks.
“I really am. Another bump on my barnet to add to all the others but the CT scan didn’t show up anything to worry about. What’s happening with Ava?”
“She had a slight bleed,” he says on an exhale as I hold on to my breath. “They had to perform surgery to cauterise the bleed and to relieve the swelling. They kept her sedated yesterday, but eased her off the meds overnight, and she woke up this morning.”
“And she’s okay, no long-term issues?”
“They don’t know that yet, but all she’s worried about right now is that she’ll still be allowed to see One Direction next month.”
I finally let out a full breath, saying his name as I do.
“It’s okay. She’s . . .” he trails off with a shrug so I go for a slight subject change.
“What happened? Did the boat hit us? Is your dad okay? I don’t even know how it happened, all I can remember is hitting the water. I don’t really remember anything directly before or after, just waking up here.”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head, and I know. I just know without him saying a single word that it’s bad, that something bad has happened.
A single tear tracks from his right eye and down his cheek, and he nods slowly before opening them.
“Dad had a massive heart attack.”
I don’t respond, I can’t. I feel like I’ve been punched, had every bit of air knocked from my lungs. Gabe shakes his head while blowing a deep breath through his mouth. He’s struggling and I know what it means.
“No,” I sob, not wanting it to be true. “Gabe? No, tell me . . .”
“I don’t know all the details yet, I’ve only left the hospital for the first time to come here, but it was instant.”
I don’t ask any more questions, don’t say any more words. I just hold him while he holds me and make up my mind that as soon as Ryder gets here with my clothes later, I’m checking myself out of this place so I can be with Gabe.
Dealing with losing his dad is going to be hard enough. Having Ava in the hospital and looking after her at the same time is not something I’m prepared to let him go through alone. It’s not fair that he should be dealing with all of that while I lay in a hospital bed, adding to his stress, this is my time to look after him.
I don’t tell him my plans. I don’t tell anyone because I know they’ll only object, but later that evening, after Gabe has gone back to Ava, my mum and sister have left to go and get some dinner before heading back to their hotel, and Ryder has left after dropping me clean clothes and toiletries, I check myself out, head down and to the hospital reception area to call myself a cab and come face to face with Jay.
* * *
I’m notsure how many times my mouth opens and closes, but no words come out as I stand frozen to the spot.
My legs feel like they’re made of both lead and air. Something strong enough to hold me in place, but not strong enough to hold me up.
His brown eyes are on mine as I start to sway. He moves towards me, and I bring my arms up to protect myself. The overnight bag Ryder brought my clothes in earlier swings off my shoulder and down to my elbow, the weight of it almost knocking me off balance.
But I don’t fall, instead, my husband catches me.
He catches me and holds me against him. I feel his warm breath in my hair and against my ear before he sets me away.
“How? Why?” is all I can stutter.
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be here. A friend of a friend told me you’d been involved in an accident and were here in the hospital. The boys won’t take my calls, and I just needed to know you’re okay.”
