Page 37 of Loving Wild
“I just feel invisible sometimes,” she whispers. Her lips tremble for a moment before she continues. “I try not to get in the way or make a mess, but then she just shouts at me to clear up after Mason, so I do that and go to my room, but she never calls me for dinner or checks on me. If I didn’t come out myself, she’d be happy if I just stayed there.”
My brain can’t process what she’s telling me, rein in my temper and tell my legs to move all at the same time, so I just stand there. My hand scratches at the stubble on my chin as I watch my daughter fall apart and my brain plays catch up. When it reminds me how, I move towards the bed and sit down beside her.
I’ve never disrespected Lena in front of Ava. We’ve taken the piss and had a few laughs at her expense, but I’ve never talked shit about her mum in front of her, and as angry as I am, I don’t intend to start doing that now, so instead, I throw my arm across her shoulder and pull her against me.
“Well, now that you’ve got everything you need in your dream room right here, you know you can stay here whenever you like, right? I mean, even before we did your room, this is your home, bub. I know you don’t spend as much time here as you do at your mum’s, but that’s because we decided it was easier for you to be there most of the time because of school.”
I feel her nod against my chest.
“And I know you just said your mum said you can stay here more once you turn thirteen, but if you wanna start doing that now, you know you can, right?”
“I was gonna ask when we were in Queensland, but you’ve got Lauren now, and I don’t . . .”
“Ava,” I cut her off. “Listen to me, kid.Youare my little girl, youareand always will be my priority. No one will ever come before you. It shits me that you’ve been holding on to this and haven’t said anything.”
“Sorry,” she whispers, instantly making me feel worse than I already do.
“Don’t be sorry, just promise you’ll speak up from now on. Something’s bothering you, you talk to me, if it’s girlie shit you’re not comfortable talking to me about, you tell Lauren or Dani, and they’ll tell me. You got that?”
She nods again and we sit there in silence for a bit, my mind racing with ideas on how not to lose my shit with a pregnant woman.
“She won’t mind, will she? Lauren, I mean. If I’m here more . . .”
“Lauren will not have a single problem with you being here. Who’d you think did all this for you? I think she’ll love having you around.”
“But what if she doesn’t?”
“You let me worry . . .”
“No, don’t say that. I’m not a child, Dad. You’re finally happy, I don’t want to get in the way of that.”
“Baby girl, listen to me. Yeah, I’m happy. Yeah, I love Lauren, but if she’s not happy to have you in my life more often than you are then she’s not the one for me. Not wanting you around is a deal-breaker for me.”
“But I . . .”
“No buts. I’m gonna talk to your mum over the weekend, and if you wanna stay with us all of this week, then that’s not a problem. I’ll work something out so we can get you to and from school . . . and yeah, we’ll go from there. Now, where’d you like to go for dinner tonight?”
As I sit on my daughter’s pink sparkly bed, in her pink, white and grey sparkly room, I kiss the top of her head and hate myself for missing how fucking unhappy she was.
Chapter 10
Lauren.
I turnmy head towards the stairs and see Gabe coming up them slowly. He had meetings all day and went to work wearing a suit this morning. He’s lost the jacket at some stage and has rolled up the sleeves on his shirt. His hands are pushed deep into the pockets of his trousers, but his tanned forearms are on show.
Until that moment, I hadn’t realised I had a thing for forearms . . .
“You okay? You looked upset earlier?”
Gabe interrupts my forearm perv sesh, and I look up to meet his eyes wearing a guilty smile.
“What?” he asks instantly.
I widen my smile and turn around on the stool I’m sitting on at the kitchen bench, handing him a beer as I do. Opening my arms and legs, he steps between them, and I breathe him in. The woodsy scent of his aftershave has worn off during the day but mixed with the shower gel he uses and the fabric softener I use in the wash, it all combines to smell uniquely like Gabe.
“You smell as good as you look,” I scrape my teeth over his neck and tell him. “And you look as hot as fuck in that suit, and better still, you’ve lost the jacket and rolled up the sleeves.”
I grip at his hair and kiss his stubble-covered jaw and chin as I speak, feeling him chuckle against me.
