Page 79 of Loving Wild
Jemma passesme my topped-up wine glass, and I take a sip of the full-bodied red.
It’s Tuesday night. The girls gave me Monday to lick my wounds but are now here en masse to show their support, and we’ve discussed every topic except mine and Gabe’s situation. Our current conversation is about Jo’s one night stand on Saturday night.
“So, you just waited for him to fall asleep and left?” Lou asks Jo.
“Well, I didn’t want to wait around for him to wake up and nail me again, three times was enough. I was tired, and I needed a shower.”
“You could’ve slept there, showered in the morning,” Jem suggests.
“I don’t stay over or shower at their place, it gives them ideas.”
“You just banged him three times, he probably already had ideas,” I tell her with a head shake and a smile. She replies with a shrug.
“So, I have a question,” Lou puts her hand up and says.
“We’re not in school, Lou, I’m not Ms Parker, the sex ed’ teacher. Put your hand down.”
Lou looks wide-eyed at her raised hand as if she doesn’t know how it got there.
“Sorry,” she mumbles. “But . . . you banged him three times and didn’t take a shower in between? Did you not feel . . . ya know?” Lou gives a little wriggle and screws up her nose. “Icky?”
“Wet wipes,” Jo answers. “Never leave home without them. Plus, I never fuck without a condom, so the only bodily fluids in my pussy are my own.”
“I hate when Max wants a round two and I haven’t had a chance to shower. We obviously don’t use condoms, so yeah, I make a quick bathroom dash and use the wet wipes,” Jem tells us. “Unless I’m drunk, then I’ll just do the finger swipe and sniff, and if all smells good, fuck it. Game on,” she continues as Lou’s eyes and mouth both widen in horror. “Once, we were staggering home from somewhere or other, both blind drunk, and decided it would be a good idea to fuck against the wall of the public toilets at the park. The only thing I had to clean up with was some paper napkins from Maccas that I found in my bag. The bloody things dissolved. Anyway, when we got home, Max wanted to go again, and he went down on me first, only to come straight back up spitting out bits of tissue paper.”
“That’s why wet wipes are better, they don’t leave any gash trash,” Jo advises.
“Max called it clitty litter,” Jem says. That’s the moment we all watch on in horror—while still laughing—as Lou snorts wine out of her nose, spraying herself, the coffee table, and the platter of food sitting on it.
For a good five minutes, we do nothing but laugh. Time with my girls, wine, cheese, and a few laughs, is exactly the therapy I need right now.
* * *
Ten minutes later,the platter has been cleared, our drinks refilled, and Lou has borrowed a clean top from Jo and is back asking Jo questions.
“How old was he—three times Friday night dude?”
“Twenty-nine, why?” Jo asks.
Lou shrugs. “Just wondered, I like to live vicariously through you,” she replies with a small smile.
“You okay?” I ask her. “You and Nick okay?”
Lou lets out a long sigh, and the mood of the room changes instantly.
“I dunno. We’re okay, I suppose. We’re not fighting or anything, but I sometimes wish we would just so there wassomekind of passion there.”
“He’s probably stressed, he’s been working long hours setting up the new business,” Jo suggests.
Lou’s husband, Nick, worked for a big recruitment company in the city but has recently set up on his own, and like with any new business, this past year has been a learning curve for him, but things are now finally taking off.
“Yeah,” Lou agrees. “At first he was tired and stressed because everything was new and he was learning, now he’s tired and stressed because they’re so busy.”
“You need to make time for each other,” Jem tells her. “Get someone to take the kids for a weekend, and either get away, or just stay home and be together, but you need to put in the effort.”
“Thanks, maybe I’ll try that,” Lou replies quietly, and we all know she won’t.
“See, you say you like to live vicariously through me. Meanwhile, I’m here admiring all of you and the effort you put in to keep your marriages alive and kicking for so long. I don’t know if I’ve got it in me to do that,” Jo states.
