Page 8 of Chasing Blue
“I thought he was away for another week?”
“Me too, but he messaged last night and told me he’s decided to come home early. He feels I’ve had enough time and wants to talk.” I hold up my phone when I see Matt’s name on the screen, notifying me he’d sent another message. “He’s just messaged again,” I explain as I read the text. “He wants to meet tomorrow night, at seven at Piccolo’s in Brighton.”
“Course he does. That’s his territory, he’s picked the time and the restaurant, he’s asserting his control. Just tell him to fuck off. You ended things. What else is there to say? This is why I told you to block him.”
“I have, everywhere except my number. I didn’t want to piss him off. I thought if I at least left that line of communication open I could tell him . . .”
“To fuck off,” Zoe interrupts. “That’s what you need to do. Right this very second, take your phone in hand, type out the words, and tell him to fuck right off, he needs to fuck off all the way to Off You Fuck Land, and when he gets there, he needs to fuck off a little bit further, so much further, that he’s never able to make it back here in your lifetime.”
I want to laugh, but only manage a smile before leaning forward with arms stretched across the desk and banging my forehead against it.
“Please tell me you haven’t backtracked over the phone and told him you’ll meet?”
“It’s done, we’re over. I haven’t backtracked on anything. I’ve not answered any of his calls or responded to his texts,” I reply while still facepalmed on the desk.
“Why’s he want to meet then? I don’t get it.”
“Me neither.”
“But you’re thinking about doing it.”
Rather than look up and meet her eyes, I choose to bang my head one more time because she’s right, that’s exactly what I’d been doing.
“For fuck’s sake, Scar. Don’t you get it? He’s a narcissist, he’s not gonna give up. He’ll keep trying to manipulate you because he hates that he didn’t win.”
“I know, I know what he’s doing, or trying to do. I’m not an idiot, Zo. Give me some bloody credit.”
I turn my head, rest my cheek against my desk and watchherwatchingme.
“You’re not an idiot, far from it,” Zoe says quietly. “You just always see the good in people. It’s an Aussie thing, everyone’s your mate, whereas my pessimistic English heart is a little more cautious.”
“You’ve lived here most of your life.”
“Pffft, my parents didn’t, I blame them, but anyway, back to the narcissist . . .”
“I know what he is, that’s why I ended things. His being away has given me even greater clarity. I admit, in the beginning, I did confuse his controlling with him wanting to look after me . . .”
“Finally!” Zoe interrupts loudly, her arms raised to the ceiling in triumph. “His behaviour went way beyond control. It was obvious after the first date when you told me he laughed at the fact you’d had to go to Uni and get a degree to work as an interior designer. He devalued your education, your career choice, and all that you’ve achieved, but I kept quiet because I love you, Scar, and I knew you were into him. But now his behaviour is creeping me out.”
“When I first met him, I thought he was different. IthoughtI’d finally met someone with passion and drive for their career but still had time for me. Not another deadbeat who already has three kids from three different baby Mumma’s, and wants to party and pop caps all weekend, or who was so career-focused they left me sitting at a bar or a restaurant because they were so caught up at work, they forgot they’d evenmadea date with me.”
“I know, I know that, babe, and I get how you got swept away with it all, but it’s not right when he laughs at your restaurant choice, the music you like, or the places you want to visit. That’s not a relationship, that’s a fucking dictatorship. The bloke’s a narcissist and the more dates you went on, the more apparent it became.”
She shrugs and shakes her head before continuing.
“Now, he’s so fucking delusional about his own self-importance, it’s impossible to keep that shit hidden. He thinks he’s a master manipulator, and so far up his own arse he’s totally missed that you’re an intelligent woman capable of seeing through his bullshit.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not feeling too intelligent right now. I’m pissed off, more at myself than anyone. Why was I born with a broken dickdar?Youcan spot them from across the bay; I, on the other hand, usually have to sleep with them for at least two months before I realise what a fuckup I’ve made.”
She chuckles. “Dickdar, I like it, and yours isn’t broken. You detected this one before it was too late. Maybe you should change the batteries and the settings anyway, just to be sure.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“You want me to message Matt and tell him to book a flight to Off You Fuck Land?”
I let out a long deep breath, suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed but not surprised at her offer. My nose tingles and I blink back tears knowing she’s got my back.
“Please don’t cry.”
