Page 68 of A Witch and Her Minotaur
Hooves clop down the hall, and when I look up, Cairn is standing there in the wide, tall doorway, wearing a fresh tunic and trousers, smiling down at me.
I try to smile back. I don’t think it works.
Immediately, Cairn’s face falls, his forehead furrowing in concern. “What’s the matter?”
I don’t mean to glance at the letter on the side table, but my eyes do it anyway, betraying me. And I hear the small surprised breath Cairn takes.
So, he didn’t mean for me to find out.
Why does that make it so much worse?
“I . . . I . . .”
What am I even trying to say? I’m not sure, but whatever it is, the words get stuck on my tongue.
With a heavy sigh, Cairn sinks onto the couch beside me, making the cushions dip and tipping my body toward him. He tries to ease an arm around me, but I pull away. I don’t want to be held by him right now. I want him to tell me the truth.
“The conservatory,” I whisper. “Are you going?”
There’s a flash of pain in his eyes when I scoot away from him, but he masks it quickly. “I don’t know,” he says, gaze moving from me to the letter on the side table. “I applied on a whim, but I haven’t heard back.” His broad shoulders rise and fall with a shrug. “Didn’t want to mention anything or get my hopes up. It’s nothing official.”
I think he’s trying to make me feel better, trying to make it sound like it’s not a big deal, nothing to worry about.
But itis. Because it means he might leave. Means I might be here, at the academy, for another two and a half years without him.
Why does that make me feel like crying?
I clench my teeth and curl my fingers into tight fists beneath the sleeves of my sweater.
And why didn’t he tell me before? Why didn’t he tell me he applied?
He says it’s because he didn’t want to get his hopes up, but inside me, a voice whispers,He doesn’t think you matter enough to know.
Trying to disguise the discomfort between my legs, I push to my feet, then glance back down at him. “We should get back to work.”
His eyes meet mine. They look confused. But again, he wipes the emotion away before I can dig too deep into it.
“It’s still raining.”
I shrug. “Never bothered you before.”
He blinks, mouth opening but no words coming out.
Then I pull on my boots, yank my hair back into a messy bun, and open the door.
Because I’d rather be outside working in the rain than sitting in here, being reminded of the things that I know will soon be snatched from me.
Like I expected, even this wasn’t meant to last. And even Cairn is going to leave.
Chapter 33
Cairn
I THOUGHT NOT TELLING LYRA about the conservatory was a good thing, a smart thing. They probably won’t want to hire me anyway, so why say anything at all?
But clearly, I made a grave error. Because Lyra is different now, like she’s become a stranger.
As the days and weeks pass, she stops showing up early, and she’s not visited me during the week again. While she’s here, she’s on edge. I can feel her chaotic energy simmering in the air around us while we work. And just last week, she accidentally set fire to a bed of purple irises. If she’d been wearing the gloves I gifted her, it wouldn’t have been a problem. But she refuses.
