Page 27 of Kay
I handed her a menu and waited while she looked over it.
“Can I get the cinnamon toast?”
“You can get whatever you want, Little one. Aside from making sure you have balanced meals, I’m not going to control what you eat. If you want cinnamon toast, I’m going to suggest we pair it with some protein like eggs.”
“That’s a good idea,” she agreed, handing me back the menu. “What are you going to get?”
“I always get an omelet with ham and cheese.”
She giggled, putting her hand over her mouth. “That’s a very standard Daddy breakfast.”
Laughing, I nodded. “It’s in the Daddy handbook. We have to eat a very strict Daddy diet,” I teased.
“Is sitting in the corner booth part of the Daddy handbook too? Allyson told me Bash makes them sit in the back corner when they go out to eat and she’s frustrated because she wants to sit at the bar.”
“Bash makes Allyson sit at the back corner because he is ridiculously protective and he can see the front door and all the exits from there. He will never let that poor baby sit at thecounter where his back would need to be turned to scan for threats.”
“Oh. That makes sense,” Lennon said.
“I am sitting here because I want privacy to talk to you.”
“Oh no,” she said, her eyes instantly wide with panic.
“It’s nothing bad, baby. I promise.” I hated that I’d scared her. Reaching across the table, I took her hand. “I wanted to talk to you about working so much. It isn’t healthy to have three jobs, Little one. I know you make a decent amount at The Thirsty Turtle and your part-time work at Rolling in Dough is probably really helpful, but, honey, why are you dancing too?”
Patsy brought out drinks and we placed our orders. Once she was gone to the kitchen again,
Lennon took a deep breath and squeezed my hand. “I have some medical debt. A lot of medical debt actually, and I use the money I make from stripping to pay it down each month.”
“Are you sick?” I asked, instantly worried.
“No! I...” She trailed off.
“You can tell me anything, Lennon. I promise I won’t run screaming into the hills.”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I tried to take my life last year. It’s very, very hard to try and bring light and laughter to a world you never really feel like you’ll have a place in. I was hurting so badly and nobody seemed to care. I can see now it was because they didn’t know. I wasn’t open about my pain and depression. I kinda hid it behind jokes and silly pranks, hating to see the people around me sad, but inside I was drowning. My mom found me and the medical team was able to save me.”
“Thank God!” I cried, tearing up at the idea of her not being in the world anymore. Couldn’t she see how badly we all needed her?
***
Lennon
Kay moved over to sit beside me and wrapped her arms around me.
“My parents are very religious and to them suicide is the only unforgivable sin, so they cut me off, took me off their insurance plan, and kicked me out. The mental health specialists at the hospital arranged for me to go to inpatient care at another facility, but because I was uninsured, the cost just continued adding up. I still owe about twenty thousand.”
“Oh, honey.”
“I’m okay. I really am. I go to counseling twice a month and I see a psychiatrist once a month. I take my medication daily and I started living in ways to make me happy. Coming out of the closet was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I knew it meant I would lose a lot of the people in my life, but I decided I couldn’t keep lying to myself. Being gay is who I am and I’ve embraced that. Losing my parents was hard and losing the people I thought were my friends was even harder, but I have no regrets about it. I still have a lot of growing to do, but overall I’m doing better.”
“I’m so fucking glad to hear that, Lennon.”
“But anyway, that’s why I work three jobs. I’m sorry that means I only have one-and-a-half days to spend with you each week.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about, baby. I’m worried about the toll that must take on you.”
“It’s okay. It won’t always be like this.”
