Page 5 of Kay
He crossed his thick arms, and studied me. “I’m sorry. That must be really hard, Kay.”
“It is and maybe I’m taking it harder than I should because I’m a female Daddy and am projecting my fears about being unwanted onto a current situation.”
“You’re worried because you’re female, you might not find a Little one?”
“I worry most Little ones who want a Daddy want a male one. Maybe they have an idea of what a Daddy should be and I need to be realistic that maybe they’re not picturing a woman,” I admitted. The words tasted gross in my mouth, but I had been really concerned that was possibly what Lennon was feeling.
Blade chuckled. “We really are our own worst enemies, aren’t we?”
I cocked my eyebrow, waiting on him to continue.
“I have seen you beautifully counsel people who are concerned about their dynamics, people who are worried because they’renot the traditional caregiver type and every time you have assured them that there is someone in the world for them. You tell them it may require a little extra time to find them, but you always assure them that being their genuine self is better than pretending to be someone they're not.”
The urge to smack him was strong. He was right, though.
“You’re a Daddy, Kay. You know that, I know that. And being a Daddy isn’t dependent on what gender you are. Being a Daddy requires you to have a dominant heart, not a dick.”
At his last words, I picked up a pen and hurled it at his head. He dodged it easily, but laughed as he did.
“Stop being so hard on yourself. Your Little one is trying to find their way to you. Just be patient.”
He left my office without saying anything else, but no more words were needed. He was right. Being a woman didn’t make me any less of a Daddy Dom and soon I would have my Little one in my arms. Until then I would have to carry them in my heart even though I was pretty sure I knew exactly who she was.
***
Lennon
“Hey!” Blade said, meeting me with a big smile. “I didn’t realize you had an appointment today.”
“I don’t. I was actually hoping to talk to Kay.”
“She’s in her office. I can show you the way,” Eliose said, standing up from the bench she was sitting on.
“Is she busy?” I asked, hating the idea of interrupting her. I was already nervous enough, I didn’t want to disrupt her and make her angry.
“No. She’s got her door open and that means we can go in without getting in trouble.”
I nodded and followed the energetic Little girl back to Kay’s office. I wondered if Eloise ever felt like she was a round peg ina world full of square holes. Probably not. She probably never struggled with finding her place in the world.
“Auntie Kay?”
Kay looked up from her desk and smiled at Eloise. It made everything inside of me hurt. I longed for someone to look at me with that kind of acceptance.
“Well hello, Little ones,” Kay said, standing and walking to her door.
“Lennon wanted to see you. I was just helping her find you,” Eliose explained.
“Thank you, honey,” Kay said with a warm smile that I was sure was aimed at the other Little girl and not at me.
“Have a good day!” She skipped off, probably back to her Daddy.
“Hey, darlin’, come on in,” Kay said, motioning for me to take a seat.
Dragging my feet, I crossed the carpeted area and sat in the closest chair.
She laughed, and despite my mood it brought a smile to my face. Kay’s laugh was probably the thing I loved most about her. It was the best—joyful and uplifting. Deep and loud, throaty, but with a warmth and familiarity that wrapped around you like a soft blanket. Her laugh made you feel like you weren’t facing your monsters alone anymore. The amount of times it had brought me comfort while I was waiting backstage to dance at The Thirsty Turtle were innumerable.
It wasn’t just her laugh that I adored, though. She was a genuinely good person and sponsored several charities, plus she volunteered at the local animal shelter twice a month. Kay was also funny and inviting, and so damn beautiful. I was obsessed with her hair, it was dark brown and glossy and she changed the colored streaks in it routinely. I enjoyed how playful that made her seem. Her body was soft and thick and I often found myselflonging to explore it, even though I’d never been with a woman sexually. Kay had a beautiful way of making you feel heard and seen.
