Page 104 of Protect My Heart
‘Go back to your seat. We’ll talk after class.’
‘But I’m done. Why can’t I—’
‘Darren, go back to your seat.’
He rolls his eyes and lets out an exaggerated sigh. Most of the kids in this program don’t want to be here. They have problems at home so school is the last thing they care about. I try to give them hope for a better life and tell them how finishing high school could help with that, but it’s hard to get them to believe that when they go home to a house with no food or have an abusive parent who tells them they’re worthless.
It’s Monday morning and as much as I love teaching, I didn’t feel like coming here today. Last weekend wasn’t good. Mia was really quiet. She barely talked to me. She turned away from me in bed at night. We didn’t have sex. We’ve been living like strangers the past couple days.
I know the reason why, and I know I need to address it. Ididn’t last weekend because I’m still angry and didn’t want to express that anger to Mia. I’m not angry at her. I’m angry about the situation. I want things to be different, but they can’t be, so then I get angry at myself for not accepting that and dealing with it.
After class, I wait for everyone to leave, then call Darren up to my desk.
‘Did you study for the quiz?’ I ask.
He shrugs. ‘Not really.’
‘You know this quiz is ten percent of your grade. You didn’t even finish it.’
‘What’s the point? I’m not going to college.’
‘What are you doing after graduation?’
‘Working for my dad.’
His dad has a farm outside of town.
‘Is that what you want to do?’
‘No. I hate it here. I want to leave and go somewhere else.’
‘And do what? What would you do for a job?’
‘I want to work on cars. But my dad says I’m too stupid and no one would hire me.’
The door opens and Mia walks in. ‘Oh, sorry. I thought class was over.’
‘It is. We’re almost done here. Is everything okay?’ I ask, worried something’s wrong with her or the baby. Mia never stops by like this.
‘I’m fine.’ She gives me a reassuring smile. ‘I just wanted to talk to you. I’ll wait outside.’ She leaves, shutting the door behind her.
‘Is that your girlfriend?’ Darren asks, smiling.
‘Yes. So going back to—’
‘You knocked her up?’ Darren laughs. ‘Way to go, Mr. Kanfield.’
I clear my throat. ‘About your quiz. If you promise to study, I’ll let you take it again.’
His phone dings with a text. He checks it. ‘My ride’s here. I gotta go.’ He takes off.
‘Darren, what about the quiz?’
He’s already gone, probably halfway down the hall by now. It’s frustrating that I can’t get through to him. I can’t get through to most of these kids. I’m only able to address their problems at school, not all of their other problems, so nothing ever changes. I get maybe one or two kids every summer to take school seriously, but that’s not much when I’m working with 30–40 kids.
I walk to the door and go out to the hall. ‘Mia?’ I look around but don’t see her.
Did she leave? I check my phone. She didn’t text me that she was leaving. I send her a text, asking if she’s still here. She texts back that she’s in the bathroom. I hope she’s not getting sick. She hasn’t had morning sickness since we moved in together.
