Page 16 of Protect My Heart
‘Go ahead.’ I move to the front of my desk as he walks up to me. Joel’s a freshman, but he’s taking my junior level chemistry class and getting an A. He’s really smart but tries to hide it because he doesn’t want to be labeled a nerd.
‘You know Abigail, right?’ he asks, keeping his voice down.
‘Yes, I know Abigail,’ I say, trying not to laugh. I know everyone in the school, and their families. That’s how it is in a small town and a small high school like Haydon Falls High. ‘What about her?’
‘I really like her and want to ask her out, but I don’t know what to say. I always see you around town with a differentgirl.’ He shrugs. ‘I’m guessing that means you know something about girls or what to say to make them go out with you.’
I clear my throat. ‘I think you’re getting the wrong impression. I don’t go out with that many women.’
‘I saw you last Tuesday having dinner with some blonde lady and last weekend you went out with that girl who works at the dentist’s office. And Zach saw you out with Ms. Ennis.’
Ms. Ennis is Mary Ennis, the librarian at the middle school. We went out for coffee. It wasn’t a date. The two other women Joel mentioned I went out with in the past but it didn’t go anywhere. Now we’re just friends. In fact, Lydia, the blonde I had dinner with, is going out with a guy in my apartment building this weekend. I set them up after he saw her in our building and asked about her.
Getting dates isn’t my problem. It’s getting those dates to turn into something more that I struggle with. If I don’t feel something for the girl—a connection, a spark—I don’t see a reason to keep dating her. My brothers keep telling me I need to give it more time, that a few dates isn’t enough to know if she’s the right girl, but I’ve dated girls for months and still didn’t feel anything.
The only time I felt a true connection with someone was that night I spent with Mia. From the moment she sat down next to me, I could feel something between us. An immediate connection, almost like we’d known each other for years. And there was definitely a spark. More than a spark. It was a flame, burning so hot we barely made it back to my room.
I’ve thought about Mia, and about that night, every day since, wanting to call her but not letting myself. We agreed notto see each other after we said goodbye. So why did she call me? Why does she want to see me?
‘Mr. Kanfield?’ Joel says. ‘Did you hear me?’
‘Um, sorry, no.’ I focus back on Joel, who keeps looking behind him. He does that when he’s nervous. Either that or he shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs his shoulders. ‘You were asking about Abigail. About asking her out?’
‘Yeah.’ He nods really fast. ‘My friends say I’m a fucking—I mean freaking—idiot to even think she’d go out with me.’ He looks down. ‘Maybe they’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t do this.’
‘Hey.’ I put my hand on his shoulder. ‘Don’t listen to your friends. If you really like this girl, ask her out. The worst that could happen is she says no.’
‘And tells everyone at school that she turned me down.’ He sighs. ‘It’s not worth it. I’m just going to forget it.’
‘Then you’ll never know what might’ve been. What if she said yes and you two really hit it off and dated all through high school and then college. Maybe you’d even end up getting married.’
I don’t see that happening, but I’m trying to make a point here.
He laughs a little. ‘She’d never marry me.’
‘Maybe not, but I think there’s a good chance she’d go out with you.’
‘Really?’ he asks, sounding hopeful.
‘You’ll never know if you don’t ask.’
‘So how do I do this? What do I say to her?’
‘Say something nice. Compliment her. Tell her what you like about her.’
He smiles. ‘I like her tits.’
‘Okay, not that,’ I say with a sigh. ‘Think of something else you like about her, not related to her body.’
‘I like her voice. And I like her laugh. And her eyes are pretty. Oh, eyes are part of her body. Forget that.’
‘Eyes are fine. So is complimenting her smile. Just avoid mentioning her chest, or anything below the neck.’
‘Okay, so I say I like her eyes and the way she laughs, and then what?’
‘Is this the first time you’ve asked a girl out?’ I ask, wondering why he has so many questions.
‘I asked Tamara out a few months ago. My friends told me what to say and she turned me down. After that I figured out my friends don’t know shit and I should ask someone who’s old and knows what they’re doing.’
