Page 96 of Protect My Heart
‘The ceremony was lovely,’ my mom says as we head back to the car. We’re going slow for my dad, who’s holding onto Jason. It warms my heart seeing Jason help my dad. It just confirms what I already knew—that Jason’s kind and caring and will be a great father to our child.
‘They could’ve spoken up more,’ my dad says. ‘You could barely hear what they were saying.’
The speakers in the auditorium were plenty loud enough. My dad’s just losing his hearing. This past week I’ve noticed how much my dad’s health is declining. It scares me, and reminds me how little time I have left with him.
It’s the reason I can’t stay here, and the reason I can’t be with Jason. Last night, when he asked me to live with him this summer, I almost said yes. He told me all the things I’ve been wanting to hear. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell him yes. I’ve already messed up his life enough. I’m not going to keep doing itfor another three months. I need to end this fake engagement so Jason can go back to living his life.
I haven’t told him this yet, but I’ve decided not to wait to go back to Boston. I’ve already sublet my apartment for the time remaining on the lease. I don’t need to stay in Madison. I only planned to because I wanted to be close to Jason to see if we might have a future together. But we don’t, so I might as well leave. I can do my summer job from Boston and be close to my parents.
‘What a beautiful garden,’ my mom says, stopping to look at an area on campus filled with flowers and surrounded by trees. There’s a stone path that winds through it and some benches.
‘Why don’t we go check it out?’ Jason says, giving me a look to go along with it. He glances at my dad and I notice he’s slumped over, like he needs a break from all the walking.
‘Let’s go sit on the bench,’ I say, walking over to one.
‘Mia, remember these?’ my mom says, pointing to a patch of pink flowers. ‘We planted some just like these when you were a little girl. I let you pick them out.’
‘I picked them because the color matched my doll’s dress,’ I say to Jason. ‘It was the same pink.’
‘She loved her dolls,’ my mom tells Jason. ‘She talked to them, tucked them in at night, read them stories.’
‘I was practicing being a mom,’ I say, laughing. ‘I wanted to have ten kids someday. Five boys and five girls. Then I got older and started babysitting and realized how much work it would be to have ten kids.’
‘You good?’ Jason says to my dad as he helps him sit on the bench.
‘I’d be better if this damn hip of mine would work like it’s supposed to.’
‘You did well today,’ my mom says, sitting beside him. ‘We’ve done a lot of walking, more than we do back home.’
‘I only made it that far because I was hanging onto him.’ He motions to Jason.
‘Me?’ Jason says, sounding confused. ‘I was hanging onto you. That hill by the auditorium was steep.’
My dad cracks a smile. ‘Glad I could help.’
It’s moments like this that I love Jason and wish I could be with him. But since I can’t, I need to end this. I’m tired of lying. Tired of pretending.
‘Mom. Dad.’ I stand in front of them as they’re seated on the bench. ‘I need to tell you something.’
‘What is it, dear?’ my mom says, with concern in her voice. She can sense something’s wrong because I’m no longer smiling, and I’m sure my eyes are red because I feel like I’m about to cry.
‘Jason and I .?.?.’ I look at him beside me and notice he looks surprised, like he wasn’t expecting me to do this now. I look back at my parents. ‘What we told you when you got here, about us getting married.’ My heart’s racing and my throat is dry. I’m finding it hard to get the words out.
‘What is it, Mia?’ my mom asks. ‘Just tell us.’
I take a breath. ‘It’s about the engagement. It wasn’t real. It was—’
‘What she means,’ Jason says, interrupting me, ‘is that it didn’t feel real because I didn’t have the ring.’ Jason turns to me. He reaches in the pocket of his suit pants and pulls something out. My jaw drops when I see it’s a ring.
‘Jason, what are you—’ I stop when he drops to one knee and takes my hand.
‘Mia, will you marry me?’
I hear my mom gasp and my dad mumble something, but my eyes remain on Jason. What is he doing? Why is he proposing? This was supposed to be the end of our engagement, not the beginning.
‘Mia, say something,’ my mom whispers.
‘Um, I don’t know.’
