Page 28 of Absinthe Dreams
"Um, yes?" I stare at him with wide, dramatic eyes. "Don't pretend you haven't, Tryst."
He sighs because he knows he can't really deny that I'm right here. "Your brother is my best friend. My brother is in love with your sister. We were raised as family. I never wanted to cross a line and fuck things up for our parents and siblings."
"You think I didn't worry about the same thing?" I whisper. "My parents love you. I've always been afraid that if they knew how I felt, it would change everything." I snort softly. "I think my mom knew anyway. She's smart like that."
"Yeah, she is."
"Do you…do you still feel like being with me will mess things up for everyone?" I ask, my voice so soft it barely carries. I need his answer, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of hearing it.We've always put everyone else first. If that's what he wants to keep doing, it's going to break my heart, because that's not what I want. I'm tired of living for everyone else and pretending that what I want doesn't matter. It does matter. It matters a whole hell of a lot.
But…does it matter to him the same way?
When the only response I get is his silence, I think I have my answer. He wants me, but just not enough. I'd risk everything to be with him, but he'll never risk the same for me. I shouldn't be surprised…but it hurts anyway.
"Well, I guess that's that then," I mutter, swallowing the lump in my throat as I try to disentangle myself from his arms as delicately as possible. Iwon'tcry. Not now.
God, I should have demanded this conversation before I fell into bed with him. I knew there was a possibility I'd get this answer. Maybe that's why I didn't push it. I wanted one perfect moment with him, just one to sustain me or satisfy me or…something. Just one moment where he was mine and nothing else mattered.
It was stupid. Because now I've had that moment, it isn't nearly enough, and everything else matters more than I wished it did.
"Chloe, stop," he says, grabbing for me before I can haul myself out of his arms.
"Let me go, Trystan."
"Hell no," he growls, rolling until I'm pinned beneath him again.
I try to push against him, to fight him to let me go, but the man is a brick wall, forged in the damn dirt of the vineyard. He doesn't even budge. He just gently gathers up my hands, pinning them above my head.
"You don't get to do this," I seethe, glaring at him.
"Do what?"
"Make me your secret!" I cry. "You don't get to fuck me when no one is around and then go back to the way things were when everyone is looking. If you want to treat me like a problem, then that's what I'll be to you. Just a damn problem."
His eyes meet mine, wild and full of frustration. "Youarea problem," he rasps, unflinching. I try to knee him in the thigh, but it's impossible when he's still inside me. "Jesus, baby. You're the problem I've never been able to stop thinking about. You're the problem who keeps my cock hard. You're the problem that has me losing my fucking mind on a daily basis. All I've ever thought about isyou."
"You think it isn't the same for me?" I cry up at him. "Even when I didn't want to think about you, I did. Even when I wished I could hate you, I couldn't! But you'll never choose me, Trystan. And I won't be your secret shame."
"My shame?" he growls, something dark and volatile in his eyes. "You think I'm ashamed of you?"
I just shrug in response.
"You were always the best part of my life. Even when I thought you fucking hated me, you were the best part. I already chose you, Chloe," he growls. "I chose you years ago. But it was never my choice that mattered. It was always yours. I've always been waiting for you to make it."
"W…what?"
"You heard me. Fuck our families. Fuck your brother. Fuck what's going on with Jax and Jade. Fuck right or wrong, or what we should or shouldn't do. You're mine, baby. I don't give a fuck if claiming you destroys everything.No oneis taking you from me now that I finally have you right here." His lips come down on mine, his kiss hard, unrelenting.
I choke on his name, choke on his taste on my tongue. My mind is reeling, trying to make sense of everything he just threw at me. But he doesn't give me time before he's moving inside meagain, his hips slamming into mine like he's trying to prove that I belong to him.
I wrap my legs around his waist, rocking with him, as wild and desperate as he is. He won't release my hands, so I bite him.
"Fuck!" he roars, fucking into me hard enough to steal my breath. It feels so damn good, like I'm flying and falling at the same time.
"You and this pussy were made for me," he groans against my lips. "I'll tear everything down before I give you up now."
"Trystan," I sob, already on the verge of shattering into pieces for him. But he isn't finished reordering my world yet. Oh, no. Not by half.
"You made your choice when you touched yourself last night, knowing I was listening. You don't get to take it back now, princess. I'll plant my baby in you before I let that happen."
