Page 39 of Built to Last
“Hey.” I tilt her chin up, eyes locking with hers. “You’re not messing anything up,” I reassure her firmly. “I know this is all happening pretty fast, I didn’t expect this to happen either but I know what I want for us.”
“Tell me?”
“I want us to keep spending time together outside of the set project. I want to learn all there is to know about you because everything I learn makes me fall for you even more. I want to be the one who looks after you when you have a flare-up, not because you need me but because youwantme there. And I want to introduce you to my family, to the people who mean the most to me because you’re becoming one of those people too. But right now? I just want to hold you, if that’s alright with you?”
“It’s more than alright.” She burrows closer to my side and my heart swells with something dangerously close to love. “You can watch TV if you want.”
Her slightly slurred words draw my attention to the half open laptop at the end of the bed. When I bring the screen to life, I see she’s been watching our crime drama and smile.
“Are you watching or sleeping?” Looking down at her burrowed under the covers I think I have my answer. I’ve kept her awake for too long.
“I’ll watch for a minute but you can carry on without me. Just tell me all your theories when I wake up.” Even as Rose shifts to get a better look at the screen it’s obvious she won’t last long. I start the next episode anyway knowing she’s only trying to stay awake for my benefit. Sure enough, by the time the opening credits finish her eyes have drifted closed and her chest is rising and falling in the gentle rhythm of sleep.
The chatter of the TV programme fades into the background, my thoughts shifting to the woman lying next to me. The last time I saw anyone look so damn tired was when my brother first brought Toby home. Eric had been exhausted but at least he knew the sleepless nights would eventually end, that it was just a stage they needed to get through.
After Rose first confided in me about her health conditions, I did some research online to find out more about what it all meant. Turns out the challenges presented by the conditions can vary quite widely from person to person but one thing was clear: for Rose, there was no end in sight. Only good days or bad days, and it seems like the bad days can crop up with little to no warning. In all honesty I don’t know if I could be as accepting of it all if I was in her shoes. Then again, I guess she had little choice but to accept it. Nobody wants to go through life angry about something they can’t change.
Rose shifts closer in her sleep, her arm looping over my waist, and my chest squeezes. Her sweet honey-vanilla scent wafts over me and it’s such a contrast to her sharp tongue that it makes me smile. I know Rose was doing just fine before I camealong but still, we all need support sometimes and, more than anything, I want to be the person Rose chooses to lean on. It’s obvious she doesn’t like asking for help but, looking down at her curled against my side, I don’t think there’s anything she could ask me for that I wouldn’t give her.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Rose
The smellof pine and mint tickles my nose, luring me further into the waking world. Confusion clouds my slow-moving thoughts before the memory of falling asleep next to Phillip comes racing back to me. Sitting up, I realise I’m alone and his side of the bed is cold to the touch. Traces of his alluring scent are all that’s left of him. Before I can process how I feel about that, my fingertips brush over a folded piece of paper. An unfamiliar bubbly sensation rises in my chest.He left a note. I must have jostled the covers in my sleep, almost hiding it. Unsure of what to expect, I take a slow breath before carefully unfolding the paper to reveal Phillip’s messy scrawl.
Rose,
You looked too peaceful to wake up but Aria is here now and I need to pick Toby up from school. Thank you for letting me stay with you. The soup is in your fridge and there are bread rolls on the counter if you want them. I hope you wake up feeling more like your usual self. Take as long as you need to rest then let me know once you’re ready to get back to work. We’re ahead of schedule, so please don’t rush.
Phillip
Something inside my chest stitches itself back together as I reread his note for the third time. I can almost hear his soothing baritone. Not only did he offer to stay with me when I worried it was too clingy to ask, hethankedme for it. Malcolm never once stayed with me when I had a flare-up. Not that I needed anyone to look after me, I always had pre-prepared meals in the freezer and other supplies on hand for such an occasion, but it would have been nice if he at least offered.
However rocky our relationship started out, I was grateful to have Phillip in my life. Only someone who truly cared brought you soup and stayed with you while you were sick. It’s been a long time since anyone took care of me like that, not since I was little. Aria checks in on me when she knows I’m having a rough day and even let me have the bedroom with the en-suite when we moved in because she knows I struggle to move very far sometimes. She’s a wonderful friend and I’m lucky to have her.But somehow, even with all that, falling asleep next to Phillip is the safest I’ve felt in years.
I misjudged Phillip when we first ran into each other and again at our first official meeting. I was wrong to think his offer of a fresh start had been anything but genuine. Now I know him better I can see that’s just the kind of man he is, slow to anger and quick to forgive. After today I’m confident he’s in this for real.He said he’s falling for me.The idea of us turning into something long-term makes my heart flutter.
My stomach growls, putting an end to my daydreaming. Moving is still difficult thanks to fatigue making my limbs feel twenty times heavier than usual, but I slowly make my way out of bed. Days like this are frustrating because the only thing I can do is rest and wait for my body to recover. Flare-ups are to be expected when I haven’t been pacing myself properly but sometimes, like today, I wake up feeling like crap with seemingly no rhyme or reason. It took me a while but I’ve come to terms with it all and learned to offer myself a lot more grace. That doesn’t make it any less inconvenient but, like I told Phillip, finally getting a diagnosis and some advice after years of searching for answers made an enormous difference.
Before mustering the energy to actually leave my room to go and heat up the soup Phillip left, I decide to text him.
Me:
Got your note. Thank you for staying with me.
Three dots immediately appear on my screen like he’s been waiting to hear from me and I fight back a smile.
Phillip:
Sorry I couldn’t stay longer but I’m on nephew duty today.
How are you feeling?
Me:
No worries, I wasn’t exactly great company.
I don’t know about that. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could watch you sleep for hours.
