Page 51 of Built to Last
“Messes can be cleaned up.” Her serious gaze holds mine. “As long as you learn something from them and don’t keep makingthe same mess over and over, people usually have it in them to be pretty forgiving. Especially when they’ve fucked up too.”
“You’re right.” I nod. At least Ireallywant her to be right.
“Of course I am.” She smirks, picking up the TV remote. “Now let’s find something to binge watch.”
Phillip
For the second night in a row, sleep evaded me. Something tells me I won’t get a proper night of rest until I really make things right with Rose. It was foolish of me to let us go another night without talking it out. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is a reminder of the hurt in her eyes when she found out about the gallery show. Sure, there was a whole load of anger too, but underneath it all was pain. Pain that I caused, no matter how unintentionally.
Shame curls in my gut when I think of how she must have felt in that moment, in front of my whole family, and then again when she came here with a peace offering only to find the house empty. I am a grown man and need to face my mistakes head-on, not run and hide like I’d expect a child Toby’s age to do.
In the heat of the moment, I was unable to see past my own bruised ego, upset and angry Rose didn’t trust me enough to give me a chance to explain. But the more I think about it from her perspective, the more I understand how it must have sounded to her. After all the crap her family and ex have put her through, it’s not surprising she assumed the worst.
I only hope that after everything with Blake on Sunday, and my stunt yesterday, I haven’t ruined my chances with her. On the bright side, she agreed to stay for dinner, surely that meanssomething? If she is willing to hear my apology, I will grovel like my life depends on it because, in a way, it does. I want a future with Rose, to spend my life with her, and that’s what’s on the line here.
Unable to take the doubt-filled thoughts churning through my mind any longer, I throw back the covers and dress quickly in a pair of loose shorts and a t-shirt. Since I can’t speed up time and jump straight to this afternoon, I’ll try outrunning my problems instead.
It’s still dark as I step out onto my driveway to work through a few warm-up stretches, but the streetlamps provide enough light to see by. My breath fogs in the air, the morning chill raising goosebumps along my arms. Knowing I’ll soon work up a sweat, I ignore the cold and set off at a jog. My pace quickly turns punishing as I do my best to burn off the frustration I feel towards myself. Sweat runs into my eyes and down my back as I start to loop round towards home. The run hasn’t solved anything, not that I’d imagined it would, but I do feel better for it.
After working through a quick cool-down in the driveway, I head back inside. The sky is just starting to lighten, a sign I need to get over to Mrs Jeffries’ house soon if I want to make it back here in time to spend the afternoon with Rose. I’m about to head upstairs for a quick shower when my phone rings. My brow furrows with concern when I see Eric’s name lighting up the screen. It’s not like him to call this early.
“Hey, is everything OK?”
“Is now a bad time? You sound… off.” Trust my big brother to always know when I’m struggling, although after the way lunch ended on Sunday it’s hardly a challenge to figure out why.
“I just got back from a run. I need to get going soon but we can talk for a minute. Now tell me what’s up.”
“Can’t a guy just call his brother for a chat?”
I scoff. “Not at—” I glance at the time, “quarter past seven in the morning, no.”
“Fair enough.” He lets out a weary sigh. “Toby’s nanny just called. There’s been a family emergency, it’s her dad. They don’t know what’s wrong yet so I’m not sure how serious it is but she’ll be gone at least a few days. Obviously, I told her not to worry about us and to take as long as she needs, but now I need help with Toby.”
“Tell me what you need.”
“I can get him to school this morning but I have meetings all afternoon and a dinner meeting tonight that I can’t reschedule. I hate to ask on short notice but could you pick him up from school and have him stay with you tonight? I can swing by early tomorrow morning for the school-run.”
“Of course, and don’t worry about getting him to school tomorrow. I was only going to be working from home anyway.”
When Eric’s ex-wife, Melanie, left just after Toby turned one, my parents and I helped out a lot while Eric adjusted to being a single parent. Now Toby is older and can be left with a nanny after school our parents have been able to take a step back, settling into the role of doting grandparents. My job is usually ‘fun uncle’ but I make sure Eric knows he can always call me if he needs help.
“You’re a lifesaver,” Eric replies, sighing with relief.
“Just a heads-up, Rose is staying for dinner tonight. We were going to talk things out after… well, you know.”The clusterfuck of an argument at our family lunch.“Obviously we’ll wait until Toby’s gone to bed before we discuss any of that, but I wanted you to know she’ll be here.”
“Thanks for telling me. I’ll make sure Toby’s aware so he’s not surprised to see her, you know he gets shy around new people.” He clears his throat uncomfortably. “I hope the two of you can work things out. You both seemed happy on Sundaybefore Blake decided to open his damn mouth. I still can’t believe he screwed you over like that.”
“No, it’s not like that. I told Blake I was going to ask Rose about the art show and I didn’t. He didn’t mean to cause a problem. It’s my own fault for not telling her about it right away.”
Eric huffs. “If you say so.”
“Don’t say anything to Mum yet. She really likes Rose and I don’t want her getting all excited about this in case it doesn’t work out.”
“I won’t say anything to Mum, but you know I can’t guarantee Toby won’t mention seeing his favourite uncle’s new friend again next time he sees his grandma,” he replies, tone teasing in the way only an annoying older brother can manage. Smug bastard. He will start dating again eventually and I’ll be sure to remind him just how helpful he was in this moment when his time comes.
“I’m his only uncle,” I remind him drily.
“Doesn’t mean you can’t still be his favourite.”
