Page 46 of Nothing But a Rakehell
“Well, you are wrong. And don’t look so frightened. It’s onlymeI’m offering up.”
“That is exactly what I am afraid of.”
She heaved a sigh. “Clearly you don’t listen, even though I’ve proved that I do. I’m not asking for anything you are not prepared to give. No entanglements.”
He did not believe a word of it.
“Well, except for the bond of friendship,” she clarified. “I truly believe you could use another friend in your life, Keswick. I’ve seen you. You are too often alone. Even when you are in a crowd, you are alone. Perhaps, especially in a crowd.”
The distress in his spine put out feelers and began to invade his gut. Hell and damnation. She truly did see, more than he could be easy with.
“You need another friend. Someone you can rely on and talk honestly with. Someone with a feminine point of view. Someone who will tell you the truth, even when you don’t wish to hear it. Someone you can trust.”
“Trust cannot be had just for the asking,” he objected.
She nodded. “I know. But we’ve a good foundation already, do we not? We can talk and laugh together. You’ve come to my aid and I’ve come to yours. I believe that we are friends already—and that I have more to offer in such a role.”
“It’s what I think you are offering that is worrying me.”
She flushed and his dread flared higher. And so did the roiling heat and the damned longing that he kept trying to stuff back in the hole where it belonged.
“I don’t think you will object so very much to my request.”
Oh, he was in trouble. So much trouble.
“No.” He turned to go.
“Keswick, stop! At least hear me out.”
He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to see her pink blushes or the plea in her amber eyes, or recall the feel of her lips under his or the beat of her heart beneath his hand.
He kept going.
“Stop, damn you!” she called. “It isn’t fair! I want to know!”
He paused. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. “Know what?” he asked over his shoulder.
She slumped back against the tree. “I saw what happened earlier.” She glanced away. “I saw Lycett and his friend. They were watching me. Discussing me. And you were near enough to hear. I saw your anger.” She sighed. “I know they weren’t saying anything kind. I tried to tell you. Most men are just not willing to take on someone . . . damaged.”
He turned back. He had to. But he kept his distance. “Not all men are such idiots. There will be someone, someday, who sees all of the glory of you.”
It was small, but it was a smile, and it made his neck prickle the way it did when he sensed a footpad following him in the streets.
Danger.
“Most of it, I don’t mind,” she said with a sigh. “I don’t want to marry any of these men. I cannot even imagine such a thing. I don’t mourn the idea of a husband, but . . .”
He took a step back again.
“I’ve never truly enjoyed the company of a gentleman. Not until you. And I keep thinking about that kiss.”
Panic ratcheted high. It tightened around his throat so that he couldn’t even croak out a denial.
“No! Don’t you dare run! I’m not asking for anything beyond friendship, as I said. Except—”
“Except?” It was the only word that escaped, even though there was a flood ofNo, NeverandDamn it all to Hellsbehind it.
“Except—as it becomes clear that I likely will never marry . . . I hate the idea of not knowing . . . what comes after the kissing. It isn’t fair!” She struck the tree. “I want to know what I’m giving up. I despise the idea of being forever left in the dark, of never knowing the true, full extent of . . . the physical side of it all.”
