Page 37 of Kiss Me Lady One More Time
He let out a groan and made a ferocious face. “Fine, then.”
She resisted the urge to grin in triumph.
“Your parents,” he urged.
“My parents are . . . lovely, really,” she admitted. “My father indulges my mother and me. He undeniably loves me. But he cannot help but be disappointed in me.”
“Impossible,” he declared. The certainty in his tone sent a shiver through her.
“He doesn’t mean to be. But I am the only child—and I am female. We share some of the same interests and I can talk reasonably well about his passions—his horses, his lands and the people on it. But I see him look at me at times and he cannot hide the disbelief and the disappointment that I am not a boy. That he has no son. I will never carry on his name, his blood. I cannot care for or perpetuate his legacy.”
“But there’s no entail on his holdings, surely? He can leave it all to you.”
“I am given to understand that that is not the same.”
“He never said so?”
“Not to me. But I’ve heard him speaking to the tenants. I’ve seen the sympathetic commiserations of other landed men in the county. I’ve seen his eyes hungrily follow a cotter’s son as he trails after his father.”
He made a sound of sympathy.
“He doesn’t mean to hurt me. I know that. But we cannot always help what we feel.” How a true a lesson that was. It was being driven home to her right now, with every brush of her arm against his, with each jerk of the gig that had their knees bumping. It lived in the electric atmosphere between them that seemed to spark higher on this small bench.
“The thing is,” she continued. “I know what he looks like when he’s regarding someone he loves wholly and unconditionally. He looks like that whenever he gazes at my mother. He adores her. And my mother . . .”
“She has a certain reputation,” Sterne said gingerly.
Penelope laughed. “Yes. It’s well earned, too. She’s brilliant. Her knowledge is extensive and of incredible depth. Her artistic talents are lauded far and wide. She is extremely dedicated to her work and to broadening and nurturing her wide collection of plants.”
“It all sounds perfectly commendable.” He raised a brow at her. “And perhaps difficult to live with?”
“Not to my father. He accepts her, worships her, even with all of her demands and foibles.” She gave him a level look. “But you said that with every indication of experience.”
He lifted a shoulder, his eyes fixed now on the traffic in front of them.
“By all accounts, your uncle is quite happily married.”
“He is.”
She waited.
He held onto his grim silence.
“Oh, come now. You promised.”
He sighed. “I do spend a great deal of time in my uncle’s house. But he can only do so much for me without upsetting a delicate balance in the family. And he is not the only man of renown in the family. My father is quite a prominent politician in the Tory party.”
“Oh! I apologize if I should have known.”
“There’s no need. I only mention it because I am familiar with the look of disappointment you mentioned. It is quite the regular thing between my father and me. And worse, my sins are compounded, for while you cannot help being a female, Ichoosescience over politics.”
“Oh. Yes.” She understood. “That’s why you are so driven to succeed?”
“To prove myself to my father? No. His scorn is complete. I could become the next Newton and he would sneer at my accomplishments.”
“Goodness.”
“He refuses to understand that I am as fascinated with my work as he is with political scheming and machinations. He values only power and influence. But I love the learning, the growing, the understanding that come with my studies.” His face hardened. “Don’t mistake me. I want the acclaim, too. I need the respect, the opportunities and the securities that come with it all.”
