Page 84 of Attached At Heart
“I agree, and I want to help.” I waited a beat for his breathing to even out. “But I also need you to know that you have nothing to atone for.”
Blake dropped his head to my shoulder, and I felt his slow, drawn-out nod. I remained quiet as he absorbed those words and their truth, slowly burying himself further into the crookof my neck. A full-body shudder worked through him, and I reached back to thread my fingers into his hair, needing to soothe him, needing to just…hold him. He let me, and we sat there, letting time slip away.
Blake didn’t say much else, and I didn’t push him. Eventually, he lifted his head and went back to holding me against his chest, seeming somewhat at peace. At least, I hoped he was.
I waited for his cue to pack up again, and then we walked back along the shore to the house, hand in hand once more.
“Thank you for humoring me, Lane.” He glanced back over his shoulder toward the sea, like he was making sure it had stayed in place as we turned our back on it. “I…I needed that.”
“I’m here for whatever you need, Blake,” I said with sincerity. “And you don’t ever have to thankmefor humoringyou.”
“Why do you say that?” he asked with a frown.
“You agreed to marry me on a whim,” I laughed.
He scrunched his nose. “That’s not how I remember it.”
“No?”
“Ipopped the question.” He stopped, his eyes glowing as warm as the sun as he looked down at me. “Youwere the one who only agreed after a lot of convincing. Same thing with this honeymoon. Despite what you might think about this arrangement, you’ve been humoring me this whole time.” His lips tilted, and then he tore his gaze away and continued on up the hill while I stayed stuck, attempting to process what he’d said. “Come on, Lane,” he called when I remained paralyzed. “We’ve got a reservation I don’t want to miss.”
Propelling my body to move, I followed Blake back to the house. His words played on repeat in my head while I spent the next hour or so getting ready for our evening out in Amsterdam. We planned to take the train into the city, hit a few sights onour way to the reservation, and then see where the night took us from there.
A wild sort of anticipation grew in my chest as I considered the possibilities of what may lay ahead. I wasn’t used to possibilities. I was used to planning and executing, not living and experiencing. But I found it to be beyond exhilarating, and one look at the clothes spilling out of my suitcase and I knew which dress I’d be wearing tonight.
I wiggled into the red contraption from Ophelia’s bachelorette party that I never got to wear before assessing myself in the mirror one more time and taking a deep breath. I had no idea what would happen on the last night of this trip, but I was determined not to take the unknowns for granted.
Walking out to the living room, I stopped short at the sight of Blake. He’d showered and changed in the other bathroom, and while I assumed he’d be ready before me, I hadn’t expected him to be standing in the living room expectantly. I also hadn’t expected him to be looking so…good.
He froze when he saw me, mid-bite of an apple. His eyes darkened, watching my movements in a way that made my palms sweaty, and when I stopped in front of him, his gaze swept over me.Blatantly.
The way he stared so openly caused a surge of heat to blast through me. He took his time, making sure to appreciate every inch of my body in this red dress before he finished taking his bite of apple, lowering the fruit so I could see the way his lips tilted.
“Fuck, Lane,” he husked.
“Did you just check me out?” I asked, the question slipping out of me from shock.
Sure, there had been some developments of sorts between me and Blake since we’d tied the knot a couple of weeks ago, but I’d never, ever experienced the look he’d just given me. Neverseen him be so forward. Never thought I’d see the day where Blake London studied me with such apparent interest.
“I don’t know why you sound surprised,” he replied, lifting a single brow and taking another bite of his apple. He chewed it for a second before continuing. “I’ve already told you my thoughts about that dress.”
He wasn’t wrong, but I’d had to drag that opinion out of him.
And now, here he was just…giving it freely.
“Is this just another one of those things you can’t help because you’rejust a man?” I asked when I found my voice, trying to tease.
“No, Delaney,” Blake replied, not a single note of humor in his tone. He stepped toward me, one hand in the pocket of his trouser pants. “I can control my actions, and I work very, very hard to do just that when I’m around you. What I can’t do is control how my cock reacts to feeling you naked or hearing you moan my name. I couldn’t control that if I tried. But this?” He trailed his gaze over me again, and I barely repressed a hot shiver. “I can control that. Which also means I’ll never, ever do it again if you ask me to stop.”
My jaw all but dropped. He’d not only checked me out, but he was admitting to it. To doing it on purpose. I stared at him, the clench of his sharp jaw, the scruff of his five-o’clock shadow, the wave of his goddamn McDreamy hair. And then I trailed my gaze lower, appreciating the way his shirt was unbuttoned at the collar, exposing his chest, and the way his arms were corded with muscle, which flexed as he clenched the fist that was in his pocket.
And it was in that moment that I came to the full-blown realization that I’d been skirting around for a long, long time.
I wanted Blake London. I wanted my best friend. My husband, the man I was married to. At least for now.
But right now was all that mattered to me at the moment, and what a gift that was.
Pushing past the overwhelming desire, I strode toward Blake. He watched me closely, making it feel like a part of me was trapped in his gaze. When I was within reach, I snatched his apple out of his hand and took a bite, enjoying the way Blake’s attention zeroed in on my mouth.
