Page 118 of Rockstar Baby
He smacked the inside of his wrist and I jumped. “Bug?” I craned my neck to peer around the ceiling. “Are there bugs in here?”
“No.” His smile was sheepish. “Sorry. It’s this thing Ian taught me to divert—oh, never mind. It sounds even more ridiculous when I say it out loud.”
I said nothing.
He exhaled and dipped his hands into his pockets. “So, you’re well then?”
I braced my hand against the aching small of my back, which was more from all the work I’d been doing than my pea-sized baby. “We’re doing fine.”
“Yes. Of course. Both of you. That’s what I meant.” He rubbed his hand over his mouth and went back to staring at my belly as if it was radioactive and might spew at any time.
Rolling my eyes, I turned away and returned to my paintbrushes in the sink.
“So, that’s it then? You’re just going to ignore me until I leave?” He swore under his breath. “Can you really blame me for thinking you’d be calling to sever all ties? You gave me your word—”
I whirled to face him with dripping paintbrushes gripped in my fists like swords. “I gave you my word I would tell you if I moved on. I didn’t say I would only call if that was the case.”
He started to argue then fell silent. “Hmm. I guess that’s true then, isn’t it?”
“Bloody idiot.” I turned away from him and went back to rinsing before the urge to commit violence overtook me once again.
“Bloody? My influence is rubbing off.”
He sounded so pleased with himself. So normal. As if this was an everyday conversation.
We hadn’t made a life between us who would need to be fed and clothed. Nope, we could just keep meeting every other month or two until I couldn’t bend over to tie my shoes, never mind kneel to suck his damn dick.
“I get as much influence fromLuciferreruns as I do from you. You know why? Because I can hit play on that show any day I want and he’s in my living room. And you are not. You haven’t been here and you won’t be here.” I ran out of steam at the end, staring blindly at the bubbles in the sink while my throat ached and my eyes burned. But at least no more tears fell.
Small favors.
“I came back for you, Ivy. That’s why I’m here. Not because of Kellan or Ian or anyone other than you.”
I bowed my head. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s sterling truth. Have I ever lied to you before?”
“Does that include you leaving out the part about you being in the music business?”
“Yes.” That he acted like that was no big thing just gave me more fuel for my fire. Too bad it was dangerously close to sputtering out.
“I’m not denying you may have flown here solely for me, but it wasn’t because you were here to pledge your undying love.”
“How do you know that?” he snapped. “Suddenly, you’re an expert on me now? You know all my thoughts and feelings?”
“I know what you’ve shown me, and only that.” I dropped a clean brush in a pail and wiped my sweaty forehead with the back of my hand. “If you came here for some reason other than us getting naked in the closest vehicle, yay. That’s very sweet. I’d probably be flattered if I wasn’t facing my future head-on.”
“Considering I just found out you’re carrying my child, I think I’m doing quite well.”
“Of course you are, because you know exactly where to find the door.”
“Goddammit, woman, will you listen to me?” He stepped forward and gripped my shoulders in his strong hands, shaking me just enough to make me grit my teeth. “I’m trying to say I want to be part of this. Ihaveto be part of this.”
Even as hope surged in my chest, I squashed it. I couldn’t afford to wish on any more shooting stars.
Or any more disappearing rockstars.
“That’s just it,” I whispered. “You’re apartof it. It’s all happening inside of me. I’ve been here every day, doing all of this alone. Can you get that?”
