Page 29 of Mistletoe Omega
“Exactly.” He opened the door and gave me a funny look. “I’ll see you a little after ten.”
“You’ve got it.” He left, and I hurried over to the window to take a peek at this guy, Kale. I watched Sam walk carefully over the icy ground to the guy’s vehicle. When he opened the car door, I got a glimpse of a man about Sam’s age with blond hair. I couldn’t see him that clearly, but from what I could see, he looked attractive.
What am I doing spying on them?
I jerked away from the window and sat on the arm of the couch. The house felt so quiet now that Sam had gone. I decided to put on some Christmas music to drown the silence, and I went back to decorating. Unfortunately, the vision of Kale smiling at Sam looped around in my head the entire time, making me feel anxious.
I tried to tell myself that it was good that Sam was making friends with guys his own age. Hell, I’d warned him off from fixating on me, and he wasn’t going to stay alone forever. Omegas needed alphas. They craved the protection and companionship those relationships generally afforded them. Sam needed to find someone to love him, and maybe this Kale guy was just the one. Sam would be happiest if he was with an alpha around his age, and I needed to remember that. He wasn’t mine. Yes, he’d flirted with me, but the whole point I’d made with him about not sleeping together, was so that he could explore other options.
“This is a great development,” I said glumly to the empty room. I stood and went into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of bourbon I hadn’t touched in years from a cupboard. I didn’t drink often, but I figured, what was wrong with a little holiday nip. Right? I was a grown up, and if I wanted a drink while I decorated my tree, that was my right.
I went back to the other room, and I sipped my drink. The liquid warmed my stomach and comforted me, as I hummed to the holiday music and hung ornaments. I fought the depression that wanted to settle on me. I’d decorated my tree alone for years. Why was tonight any different? So what if I liked being around Sam? That didn’t mean I couldn’t still enjoy being alone as well. I’d been just fine before he came along.
I had to remember that he wasn’t going to stay with me forever. He’d flirted a little and maybe I’d read too much into that. I needed to get a grip. Sam deserved a young alpha who could give him all the babies he’d ever want. That wasn’t something I even desired. Or at least, I hadn’t wanted that. Not since losing Ethan.
I drained my glass and went to pour myself another. Why was I letting this bother me so much? I’d known all along that Sam’s presence here in my home was temporary. Had I been fooling myself? The whole time I’d pushed Sam away, had I secretly been hoping we’d end up together? God, was I that pathetic? I felt sick at the realization that I might have actual feelings for Sam.
I continued to work on the tree, drinking and trying to block out any thoughts of Sam. Maybe what I needed was to call up one of the omegas I’d sometimes slept with in the past. It had been a while. Probably at least six months since I’d bothered hooking up with anyone. Perhaps what I felt for Sam was really just sexual frustration. It wasn’t easy ignoring a handsome, young, fertile omega in such close proximity to me day in day out. After all, when I’d first offered him a room, I’d assumed it would only be for a few days. Not weeks. Weeks of trying to ignore someone as sexy as Sam was definitely challenging. Especially since he’d let me know he wanted me too. I swallowed hard, and grimaced, as my cock hardened at the thought of taking Sam up on his offer. Did he even want me anymore? Maybe he’d come to his senses and set his sights on this Kale fellow now. Good. That was probably the best thing for him.
“Yes. He needs to move on.” I forced myself to say those words, even as my stomach churned at the thought of anyone but me touching or tasting Sam. The idea of Kale kissing Sam made me nauseous. “Shit. Who am I fooling?”
I stumbled into the kitchen and poured myself another drink. I glanced at the clock. It was nine thirty. Sam would be back soon, and I didn’t really want him seeing me like this. I downed my drink, wincing as it burned my throat. Then I scribbled a note for Sam, explaining I’d had a headache and I’d gone to bed. It was best I avoided him right now. I didn’t feel logical. I felt emotional, jealous, and I realized that was not a good state to be in around him or anyone.
I made my way unsteadily to my bedroom, stripping as I went, and leaving a trail of clothes on the way to my room. Wearing only my boxers, I crawled under the covers. I hugged my pillow, wishing the room would stop spinning. My thoughts were filled with Sam; Sam laughing. Sam teasing me. Sam kissing me. I groaned and pulled the blankets over my head. I couldn’t believe I’d been stupid enough to fall for him. I knew better. I was smarter than that.
Starting tomorrow I’d begin to distance myself from him. That way he’d feel more comfortable pursuing something with someone else. I couldn’t act the way I had tonight with him. He’d catch on to how I felt if I wasn’t very careful. He didn’t ever need to know how much I cared about him and wanted him for myself.
It would be my sad little secret.
Chapter Nine
Sam
When I got home, the house was quiet. I frowned as I let myself in, noticing the tree was half decorated, and Graham wasn’t anywhere around. I went into the kitchen where a light was on. There was a half-bottle of bourbon with the lid off, and an empty glass.
“Graham?” I called out as I shrugged out of my sweat shirt. He didn’t respond. “Graham?” My gaze fell to a note taped to the coffeemaker, telling me he’d gone to bed. I glanced back at the bottle of booze and the glass. I’d never even seen Graham drink in front of me. Not that I cared. He was a grown man, and if he wanted to drink, he could drink. It was just unusual.
I hung up my hoodie and moved to the hallway to go to my room. I was disappointed he’d gone to bed instead of waiting up for me like we’d planned. I understood that, if he didn’t feel well, he had every right to go to bed. But it was still a letdown, since during my whole shift I’d been looking forward to spending time with him. When I saw his shirt on the floor of the hallway, I stopped. What the heck was going on? Graham was a neat freak. He didn’t just strip off his clothes and throw them around.
For one awful moment, I wondered if he had another guy in his room with him. But then I remembered there’d only been one glass in the kitchen, and I prayed that meant he didn’t have anyone in his bed. My gut ached at the idea he’d have invited a guy over while I was gone. Jealousy nipped at me as I picked up his shirt and pants off the carpet. I stopped in front of his door, feeling nervous about disturbing him.
If he did have another man in his room, what would I do? I wasn’t sure I could control my feelings if I saw something like that. I swallowed hard, and took a deep breath, then I knocked softly on his door. “Graham?”
Silence met me.
I knocked again, but when there was still no answer, I slowly opened his door. The light from the hall fell across his bed. He was sprawled sideways, and I was relieved to see he was alone. He had no shirt on, and his boxers were hitched up, exposing his firm ass and thighs. My breathing increased as a powerful buzzing lust zipped through me. I knew I should probably just leave his room, but I couldn’t seem to drag my gaze from his toned, tanned flesh. I’d lusted after him for so long, getting to see him half naked was an amazing treat.
I moved closer, even as I felt like a creeper. My fingers itched to touch his skin, and my heart banged against my ribs. I ignored logic, and I sat on the edge of his mattress. His clean, alpha scent filled my nostrils, and I stared hungrily at the curve of his ass. He’d put me off before, telling me to wait and see how I felt in a few weeks. But all that had happened was my feelings and lust had grown tenfold. He was all I thought about. It scared me that he thought I was too young for him, because if he sent me away, I’d be heartbroken.
He won’t want me anyway when he finds out I’m pregnant.
I winced. I’d wanted to tell Graham so many times that I was with child. But I couldn’t seem to work up the nerve. I was terrified he’d reject me. We’d grown closer and closer, but there was still the very real possibility he’d send me away when he discovered I was pregnant.
When Graham stirred, I froze. He rolled over and his leg brushed against my hip. He lifted his head and frowned at me. “Sam?” His voice was husky with sleep.
I swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah.”
He looked around as if he wasn’t sure where he was. “Are you in my room?”
