Page 23 of Mistletoe Omega
He frowned. “But this was more than that?”
“It got out of hand like arguments sometimes do.”
“True. Some of the worst fights I’ve ever had with people started over dumb things.” He chewed his bottom lip. “So you had a big fight. Then what happened?”
My stomach hurt thinking about that day. “I said some stupid, hurtful things.” I grimaced. “But he did too. He said lots of awful things to me too.”
“But he took what you said to heart?”
I hung my head. “Yeah. Ethan was like that. He was so fucking sensitive.”
“And something bad happened?”
I nodded, feeling depressed. “Ethan just gave up.”
“What do you mean?” he asked breathlessly.
“He just quit.”
“I don’t understand.”
I’d never said any of this out loud to anyone. I wasn’t sure why I was telling Sam. Maybe it was because of his resemblance to Ethan. Perhaps a part of me felt like I was getting to explain myself to my dead lover, like I hadn’t been able to do in real life. “If I had to do it over again, I’d do it differently. I’d hold my tongue and be a more patient person.”
“You seem pretty patient.”
“Now, maybe. But back then. I was different. I was younger and I could have handled shit better.”
His eyes glittered with curiosity. “What did you mean when you said he quit?”
My face tensed, and I stared at the floor. “He gave up on us. On me. He just… he just.” I shook my head. “He gave up on life.”
He hitched a breath as if he was beginning to understand. “Oh, God. Wh… what happened?”
I clenched my jaw and met his gaze, my eyes stung and my heart banged against my ribs. “Ethan killed himself. He took his own life just so he wouldn’t ever have to face me again.”
Chapter Seven
Sam
I gasped like something out of a horror movie. Graham looked pale, shaken. I had the feeling the second he’d told me the truth, he’d wanted to take it back. He pulled away and gave me a hard look, his mouth a grim, straight line. “That’s the kind of man I am. The kind who can drive a lover to take their own life.”
“No.” My voice shook as I searched for the words I needed. “No one can make someone do that, Graham.”
“I don’t like to think about it.”
“Of course not.” I wanted to touch him again and feel his solid muscles under my hand. Since the moment he’d taken an interest in me and my plight, he’d only been steady and strong. I didn’t like seeing him in pain. I hated seeing him suffer. I wanted to comfort him and do something, anything, to wipe that look of hopelessness from his face. “You must know it wasn’t your fault.”
He gave a hard, humorless laugh. “Really?”
“Yes. That was his choice.”
His gaze snapped to mine sharply. “It wasn’t his fault. He just couldn’t handle things.”
“Okay.” I sounded breathless. It was obvious he wouldn’t tolerate anything negative being said about Ethan. I had to try another tack. “No one is to blame here. You couldn’t have known he’d do anything that drastic. You can’t blame yourself.”
He pulled his brows tight, as a look of despair settled in his eyes. “Why didn’t he just come and talk to me? We could have worked it out. God, I’d have done anything to work things out.”
Without really thinking, I wrapped my arms around him. He didn’t push me away, instead he rested his hands on my waist and folded into me. His heart beat so hard I could feel it against my chest, and his warm breath fluttered against my neck. “It’s okay,” I whispered.
