Page 43 of Married to Murder
Gordon sighed. “That’s like telling a fish not to swim.” He dropped his arm and held out his hand to me. “I’m terribly sorry for your loss, Tanner. Truly.”
“Thanks.” We shook hands.
“Well, I’m off. If either of you need anything, please call me. No matter what time it is.” Gordon walked away toward the parking lot, his shoulders slumped as if he was exhausted. I appreciated he’d hung around so long looking after Seth since I’d been so preoccupied with my mom.
Seth watched him go, and then an awkward silence fell. It was like there was so much to say, we didn’t know where to begin.
I cleared my throat. “You sure you’re okay alone tonight?”
He slid his cautious gaze to mine. “I’m used to being alone.”
I grimaced. “Yeah.” I sighed. “This wasn’t exactly how I saw our wedding night ending.”
“No.” His face tensed.
I inched closer, wanting to connect to him, needing to see that warm man I knew was in there somewhere. “Seth… I didn’t really think you’d… hurt my dad.”
His jaw clenched. “Of course you did. For a second there, you did.”
“It was just that I was so shocked. I mean, my dad was lying dead right in front of me.”
“I understand.” His voice was monotone.
“Do you? You know, part of the problem is you won’t tell me why you argued with my dad. It makes me feel like you don’t trust me.”
“I do trust you.” He avoided my gaze.
“Sporadically.”
He shrugged. “I think the bigger issue is you don’t trust me. Not if you think I’d do anything to hurt you or your family.”
I winced. “Seth. I know you’re not a murderer.”
He exhaled roughly. “Whatever. We should get your mom home. I’m beat.”
“Seth, you know I believe in you, right?” I wanted to hug him and wipe that wounded look off his face. But I didn’t have the nerve. Not when he looked at me like I was a stranger.
His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I don’t know what I think, Tanner. I just want to go home. I don’t want to talk to you or anyone. I just want to go home.”
My heart sank. “Fine. But we need to talk about all of this eventually. We can’t just block it out.”
“I know.”
I shook my head and moved toward my mom. Seth followed and helped get her to my car, and then we climbed in. None of us spoke on the ride home. My mom was understandably in shock; she just stared straight ahead through the windshield looking stricken. Seth was in the back seat, and I could feel his gaze on me during the drive. But when I met his eyes in the rearview mirror, it wasn’t affection or concern I saw in his eyes; it was distrust that I found staring back at me. It broke my heart because I knew I’d helped to put it there.
Chapter Fifteen
Seth
The next morning I woke with a raging headache. The horror of the day before filtered back, and I groaned and sat up. Instead of ending our wedding on a high note, the entire day was now tainted with heartbreak. I may not have liked Douglas, but I’d never have hurt him or wanted harm to come to him. I still couldn’t believe I’d been unlucky enough to find his body. But the worst part was remembering that split second where Tanner’s suspicious gaze had settled on me accusingly.
My gut rolled and I clenched my teeth against the nausea that hit me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he might still suspect me. I was shocked at how painful that was. I’d been on my own for so long, I’d forgotten how much it hurt when someone let you down. I tried to tell myself it was a perfectly logical conclusion to have jumped to. After all, I’d argued with his dad only hours before he was killed. Then to make matters worse, I’d been standing over his corpse. It was certainly a damning string of events.
I had little doubt Detective Pole thought so too.
He’d gone easy on me last night because of the situation, but something told me this afternoon the detective wouldn’t treat me with kid gloves. Especially if he’d gone to the trouble of doing any sort of background check on any of us. I would no doubt look even more appealing to hang this one on once he knew about my record.
Tanner was coming by soon to pick me up so we could go to the station together. As I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I had to admit that I wanted to see him and dreaded seeing him all at the same time. Before the murder, I’d almost had myself convinced that we’d be happy together, maybe even a real couple one of these days. Now I’d most likely be arrested for murder and probably never see Tanner again. He wasn’t going to stick by me when he found out all about me.
