Page 59 of Omega Tricked
“And you’re still going to deny that you have actual feelings toward Dylan?” His tone was dubious.
I exhaled roughly, confusion nipping at me. “I don’t know why I feel protective over him. It makes no sense.”
“He obviously hit a cord inside of you. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’ve never had any attraction to a guy before.”
“If you are you are. It’s no big deal.”
“I don’t understand why I’d feel that now. If I was going to be attracted to a guy, surely it would have happened a long time ago. Also, I’d think it would be some aggressive type around my age. Not a gentle kid, seventeen years my junior.”
“I guess none of that matters because the day after tomorrow, you’ll never see him again.”
My heart squeezed. “Yes.”
“You could tell him how you feel.”
“Why bother?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’d be a good first experience.”
“God. This is nuts.” I raked a hand through my hair, half-relieved to be discussing this with someone, and half-embarrassed. But Gabriele was a good friend, and we’d known each other since we were in our teens.
“I say go for it. See if it’s something you like. Maybe you’ll be turned off when push comes to shove.” He laughed. “Or maybe you’ll discover a part of you you’ve kept repressed.”
“But that’s just it: I haven’t repressed anything that I’m aware of. I’ve just never been attracted to a man before.”
“To be honest, you’ve barely been attracted to women.”
I frowned. “What are you talking about? I’ve been with lots of women.”
“You’ve fucked. You’ve never fallen in love. I can’t think of one chick you were with more than a few weeks tops.”
I searched my memory, running through the women I’d dated over the years. “Surely I stayed with some of them longer than that.”
“Nope. You’ve never been serious about anyone.”
“Well, it wasn’t because I secretly yearned for dick.” I laughed gruffly.
“I’m not saying it was, but maybe you’re into this kid Dylan because you’ve finally managed to connect with someone emotionally.”
“I connect with you emotionally.”
He chuffed. “Yeah, but we’re like brothers.”
“True.” I sighed wearily and then shook myself. “This is all a distraction. I need to focus on what we’re going to do to Charles. I can’t be worrying about whether I have the hots for Dylan or not.”
“Right.”
“I won’t be able to talk to you before Wednesday. Remember, rent that house, and be up on the mountain before 9:00 a.m.” I sounded gruffer than I intended because I felt foolish about having feelings of any kind toward Dylan. I didn’t want Gabriele thinking I was weak.
“Will do, boss.”
I hung up and stood to go in the house. I crept into the cabin, listening for any sign that Dylan was awake. It was quiet though, so I hung up the phone and went back to my room. I got in bed thinking about my conversation with Gabriele. I wasn’t surprised that he’d been supportive about my odd, and sudden, interest in Dylan. Gabriele was like that. He had a kind heart, and he always had my back. He’d always known he was gay, so maybe that was why it was no big deal to him if I suddenly discovered I was bisexual.
It would have mattered to Dad though. He’d been a homophobe for as long as I could remember. Had I maybe suppressed sexual feelings because I didn’t want him judging me? I didn’t think that was it. I’d just never noticed guys in a sexual way before. In fact, I hadn’t even had an immediate response to Dylan. It had taken a little time, and slowly I’d started to notice little things about him, like his scent and his lips. Even now, just the thought of his mouth made me hard.
Jesus, I did feel compelled to explore these feelings with him. He’d definitely dropped little hints here and there about being attracted to me. If he was interested in fooling around with me, was I brave enough to go through with it? My heart beat faster thinking about getting intimate with him. The dream I’d had about him was burned in my memory. I wanted that. I wanted to touch and taste him for real. It was crazy to think that could be true, but the hunger I had wasn’t fading.
