Page 74 of Surviving Love
He shrugged and kept his camera trained on me.
I sighed and continued walking. When we came upon the shelter that I’d stayed in with Jack during the big storm, resentment spiked through me. I kicked at the structure and didn’t stop until it was in shambles on the ground.
Looking confused by my attack on the shelter, James said nothing. He couldn’t possibly understand why I was upset. But that time spent alone with Jack was when everything had begun to unravel for me in this game. Jack had gotten through my protective barriers and convinced me he was a good guy. Yet, all along he’d been using me. He’d lured me in, and all the while he’d had a wife and kid waiting for him at home.
My heart ached remembering the way he’d held me and kissed me. His touch had been so tender. His words so reassuring and effective. My face burned remembering how I’d given in to him, without putting up any kind of fight. Was everyone he seduced so easily won over? Or was I the only real sap?
I returned to the other side of the creek and sat on the beach in front of our camp. I watched the dark sky gradually lighten to a purple and mix with a pretty shade of pink. Watching the sun rise above the ocean horizon truly made me feel small. Regardless of my hurt feelings, the world kept turning. If I were honest with myself, my wounded feelings and very existence were insignificant in the scheme of things.
When I heard voices up toward camp, I got up and headed back. Jack was sitting by the fire, staring at the orange flames. His expression was pensive, and I wondered if he was thinking about his wife and daughter. He glanced up when I sat across from him, but I ignored him.
Harold came walking into camp with Lydia trailing behind him. “Look what we found,” Harold said cheerfully, holding up a bunch of green bananas.
I widened my eyes. “Where did you find those?”
Lydia grinned. “There’s a plant to the west. I’d never gone that far before, but Harold and I decided why not see what was out there? And lo and behold, we found a beautiful banana plant.”
As excited as I was about the bananas, I wondered why Harold had gone with Lydia. She’d been in that backstabbing alliance with Rob and Luciano. Was he befriending her to get her to vote with Jack and us? Or was he making other plans to take Jack out of the game?
“We can cook them to bring out the sugars,” Sherry said, filling a pot with water. Then we can eat them with the rice.” She laughed. “Is it sad that I’m so excited about this?”
I smiled. “No. We’re starving. Food is my world.”
Jack grunted, and I noticed he too seemed to be watching Harold with an assessing gaze. Jack was paranoid and alert. He had to be wondering what Harold was up to with Lydia.
I smirked. Good. Let him sweat a little. I hoped Harold did have some plan to take Jack out. I’d talk to Harold later and see what he was up to. Maybe he’d let me in on his scheme. I’d certainly enjoy watching Jack get blindsided.
“We have an immunity challenge today.” Billy sat down next to me. “Hopefully the bananas will give us some extra energy. We need to win.”
“We’ll win.” Jack’s voice was confident.
Lydia sighed. “There are no guarantees in this game.”
“There are no guarantees in life,” I said.
Jack flicked his gaze to me. “Feeling pessimistic, Mason?”
“No more than usual.”
Frowning, Jack didn’t respond.
Sherry dropped a bunch of bananas in my lap. “Here, help me peel these, Mason.”
“Sure.” I dug my fingernail into the firm skin of the fruit and peeled back the green flap.
“I’ll help,” Mary said, reaching for some of the bananas in my lap.
“Me too.” Julia laughed. “Anything to get the food faster.”
Since everyone pitched in, we had the bananas peeled in no time. Then we cut them into small slices and put them in water to simmer over the fire. My mouth watered at the fragrant scent of the sugars cooking out of the fruit. Sherry also got another pan of rice started as the rest of our tribe gathered around the fire.
I felt Jack watching me, but I made a point of ignoring him. I really hoped he didn’t approach me today. I had no idea what to say to him or how to hide my anger. I didn’t want him to catch on that I was furious but didn’t think I was a good enough actor to disguise it, one-on-one.
Once the food was ready, we all got our ration. As I scooped the food into my mouth with an oyster shell, I ate slowly, savoring the sweetness of the fruit mixed with the bland starchiness of the rice. I’d never take food for granted again. In the future, the feeling of a full belly was something I’d always treasure.
After we’d eaten, I took the pans down to the beach to wash them. When Jack joined me, I stiffened. He crouched down beside me, but I ignored him.
“You’re awfully quiet this morning,” he said softly.
