Page 80 of Surviving Love
“I’ll check over the shelter before we all go to bed tonight,” Jack said. “Don’t worry.”
I felt grateful to Jack, so it was hard to remember I was supposed to be angry with him. He’d just risked his life to protect me, which made hating him difficult. He met my gaze, and when he smiled, I found myself smiling back. How could I not? He hadn’t been obligated to help me. He could have just left it up to the show to handle things. But Jack being Jack, he’d taken charge. It was hard not to be impressed by him. Maybe he was a lying, cheating bastard, but he was still kind of remarkable.
“Mason, let’s go take a walk,” Jack said. “You should walk off some of your tension.”
I was grateful to him, but I didn’t want to go anywhere alone with him. I didn’t feel strong enough to reject him if he made a move on me. Especially now. I found his heroism attractive. The last thing I needed was to go off with him, where I’d probably feel the need to show him my gratitude. Nope. I’d stay with the others and think about his lovely wife waiting back home for him.
“Maybe later,” I said, avoiding his gaze. “I feel kind of light-headed right now.”
He frowned, looking nonplussed that I’d turned him down. I began to wonder if anyone ever said no to Jack. Did he always get what he wanted? Was that why he was so sure of himself? He apparently thought he was God’s gift to menandwomen.
I spent the afternoon with the others, and whenever I glanced up, Jack was watching me. He seemed quieter than usual. Almost introspective. I found myself studying him when he wasn’t looking. I hated that I still felt drawn to him. What was wrong with me? At least I’d had enough self-preservation to know better than to go off alone with him.
When night fell, Jack checked over the shelter as promised. The show had sent the snake wrangler back over to our camp earlier, so we felt a little safer. At bedtime, I took my usual spot next to Jack, but again, I slept with my back to him. I had to ignore his scent and body heat and instead fixate on what a phony he was.
The next two days passed with that routine. We’d play a challenge during the day, I’d spend most of my time pretending Jack didn’t exist, and at night, I’d sleep with my back to him. Jack didn’t say anything to me, but he continued to watch me a lot with that same thoughtful expression.
By day thirteen of the show, Matapang’s winning streak at the challenges ended. That meant we had to go to the Fire Council that night. I wondered if Harold was still on board with our plan to get rid of Jack. I hoped so. It was getting harder and harder to ignore him.
There was a lot of scrambling among our tribe; everyone kept heading out in pairs, obviously talking strategy. Harold took me aside and reassured me that Billy was on board to oust Jack tonight. Relief warred with depression at the thought of never seeing Jack again.
I left camp and went to my favorite private cove to contemplate things a few hours before the Fire Council. I knew what was coming, and I needed to get my head in the game. When Jack was voted out, I wanted to be sure I didn’t look like I gave a shit. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, because my feelings for him were strong. Complicated, but strong.
I sat on the white sandy beach, digging my toes in the warm sand and reassuring myself I was on the right side of things. Since I wasn’t doing anything interesting, James was down the beach a way, looking for shells. I was shocked when Jack came walking down from the other direction toward me.
My heart began to race when he sat down beside me. He hugged his knees and stared out at the ocean, without speaking. We sat like that for a few minutes, with only the sound of the waves and the birds in the trees.
Eventually, Jack broke the silence. “I know you and Harold turned on me,” he said softly.
My stomach dropped. “What?”
“Please don’t play dumb, Mason. At least give me that much respect.”
My cheeks burned. “Okay. Fine. Yeah, you’re going home tonight.”
He didn’t speak right away. When he did, he actually sounded hurt. “I knew Harold would eventually stab me in the back, but I didn’t think you would.”
“That’s the game, Jack. You know that.”
He nodded. “Yes. But I thought you and I had a different thing going on.”
I swallowed, trying to stay strong. “Why? Because we had sex a few times?”
He glanced over, his brown eyes dark. “Yeah, Mason. I thought something deeper was happening between you and me. I didn’t think we werejustplaying the game.”
Oh, he’s good.
How could he look so damn innocent when he had a wife and kid sitting at home? Did he have no heart at all? Was this funny to him or something? Did he think toying with my emotions was par for the course?
“You’re fucking unbelievable,” I hissed, shaking my head.
“Why?” He narrowed his eyes.
James had returned, and while he sat at a distance, I knew his camera would pick up everything we said from this point on. His presence would make the conversation more awkward, but the truth about Jack was coming out sooner or later. For all I knew, the other camera guys had already recorded contestants discussing Jack’s marital status.
“You used me,” I rasped. “I know the truth about you.”
“Meaning what?”
