Page 65 of Tide and Seek
“Of course.”I straightened slightly because his demeanor had changed so drastically from a few moments before.
“Remember—” A hint of pink touched his face.“Remember a few months ago, when I said we should get married?”
I swallowed loudly.“Of course I remember.”Never in a million years had I expected him to bring that up this afternoon.
“You seemed really shocked.”He watched me under his brows.“Like the idea had never even occurred to you.”
“Well, I… I was shocked.”I grimaced.“Not because I didn’t like the idea, but because you were the first one to bring it up.”
“Why would that matter?”
I chuffed.“Because it was so unexpected.”
“Was it?”
I laughed gruffly.“Come on, Max.You’ve always avoided any conversations about marriage.To be honest, I always figured if I wanted to marry you, I’d have to hogtie you and drag you to the church.”
“What?”He blinked at me.“That’s not true.”
“You definitely never seemed pro-marriage or pro-kids.”
He winced.“It’s true I’m not particularly pro-kids.But I’ve started to think maybe marriage isn’t such a horrible thing.”
“Have you?”My pulse sped up because this conversation was scary, but also exciting.I was nervous I might say the wrong thing and he’d bolt like a skittish colt, but it also felt like if I was ever going to try and nail him down about how he saw our future, this was a prime opportunity.
“But when I brought up getting married,” he continued, “you seemed to reject the idea.”
“What?No.”I reached across the table for his hand.His fingers were clammy and he didn’t grip my fingers very tight.“I wasn’t rejecting you, Max.”
He studied me.“You should be completely honest, Royce.Don’t sugar coat things for me.”
I laughed.“I ain’t sugar coating anything.Hell, I’d marry you tomorrow if that was what you wanted.”
“You would?”His dark brows rose.
“Yes.I love you, Max.You know that.I’d be honored to be your husband.I just wasn’t sure you meant it.I thought maybe you were just joking around because you never brought it up again.”
“I wasn’t joking,” he said quietly.
I felt like hyperventilating.“So you really see us getting married some day?You see a real future?”
“I do.”He shrugged.“I never thought I’d want that.Never thought I’d meet anyone who would want that with me.”
“I want that with you.”
He bit his bottom lip.“I’m relieved to hear that, although I do worry you’re too traditional.You like the idea of settling down, and of starting a family.What if I can’t give you the second part?”
My heart twinged.“I won’t lie and say that’s not disappointing.I think we’d both be great parents, and I’d love to share that with you.But I’d never force you into that.Nobody should be a parent if they don’t want to be.”
“But you do want to be.”
I shrugged.“Yeah.I always thought I’d have kids.But if my choice is move on so I can have kids with someone else, or marry you and not have kids, I choose you, Max.”
“And if you change your mind later?”
“I don’t see that happening.Once I commit, that’s it.”I smiled at him.“I’m just happy to know you see us having a real future.Means the world to me, Max.”
“And I know I don’t say it often enough,” he said in a hushed voice, “but you mean the world to me.”
