Page 95 of Tide and Seek
“Jesus Christ, Ethan.What did you do?”
Ethan grabbed Luke by the front of his shirt.“You need to learn to butt out.The more you know, the more you’re a liability.”
Eyes wide, Luke ignored Ethan’s threat.“Did you kidnap him?Do you even grasp how fucked you are now?It’s one thing to sling pills, but to hurt a cop?If it gets out you assaulted a cop, it’s not just some possession beef anymore.”
Ethan let go of Luke, looking defeated.“It’s too late now anyway.”
No.No.No.
“You actually killed him?”Luke looked like he was about to puke.“Jesus, Ethan.They’ll bring in every damn badge in the county, maybe the feds.Murdering a cop is the fastest way to have half the state crawling up your ass.They’ll bury you alive for that.”
“That was all Stiles, not me,” Ethan said hoarsely.
“Like that will save you?You’re an accessory.”Luke shook his head.“Fuck.You need to go.I don’t want any part of this bullshit.That wasn’t right.You fucking assholes had no right.”His face was flushed and he looked legitimately upset.
With a haunted expression, Ethan said harshly, “I didn’t want that.You think I wanted that?But now I’m so fucked, I have no options.I just need my money and then I’m done with Stiles.He’s a goddamned psycho.”
Their voices faded into the background.I was numb.I couldn’t feel my limbs or catch my breath.From the way Ethan was talking, Royce was gone.Dead.Murdered.Something died inside me then, something I’d never get back.But in its place, something dark took root.A rage so pure and absolute it felt like a living thing clawing at my chest, demanding release.
If Royce was gone from this world, I didn’t want to be here anymore either.But I needed to see Royce.I needed to be sure that he really was gone, or I wouldn’t be able to accept that it was true.I needed to visually confirm that Royce was dead, and then I’d decide what to do to Ethan.If he’d actually taken the life of the only man I’d ever loved, I wasn’t sure I could let him live.That vengeful thought was so alien to me.I was a civilized, logical man not prone to violence.But right now, I was shaking with a sort of primal rage.
Ethan needed to take me to Royce, but how would I get him to do that?If I called the police and told them what I’d heard, would they even believe me?And even if they did, they’d be too slow to respond.No, I needed to handle this myself.But Ethan was bigger than me and he wasn’t going to be intimidated easily.He also wasn’t going to give me what I wanted if I asked nicely.I needed to do something drastic to get him to take me seriously.
Royce had brought his service weapon on the trip.Ethan would probably listen to me if I shoved a gun in his face.Most anyone would listen with a gun in their face.With that thought in mind, I stumbled back toward my house, my vision tunneling into one thought: Finding Royce.
Inside the house, I went straight to the bedroom where Royce had stored his backup pistol in the nightstand drawer.My hands were surprisingly steady as I pulled it out, checked the magazine.Loaded.Good.The weight of it felt foreign in my hand.Royce had insisted I learn how to shoot, but I wasn’t comfortable handling a firearm.I’d only gone shooting at the range to please Royce because it had been important to him.
My gut roiling and legs unsteady, I started down the stairs, intent on heading back to Luke’s place to confront Ethan.But the sound of the security gate opening out front, followed by the rumble of a vehicle, sent a jolt of panic through me.I yanked open the front door just in time to see Ethan’s pest control van pulling out of the colony.
He was leaving.
Hell, no.
I slammed out my front door, sprinting to my rental car, the gun heavy in my pocket.My fingers fumbled with the keys as I started the engine and tore out of my driveway.I pulled out onto PCH, eyes searching the red taillights ahead.When I spotted Ethan’s van, relief flooded me.Thank God I hadn’t lost him.I continued on, keeping enough distance that Ethan wouldn’t notice me but close enough not to lose him in traffic.I wasn’t sure if he was heading to another job, or heading home.Either way, I was going to make him talk to me.
The light faded to dusk as I followed his van.The drive felt endless as my heart hammered against my ribs, adrenaline and grief making my hands shake on the steering wheel.I didn’t feel like myself.I felt in a sort of dream state, tortured by the need to hear Royce’s voice and to hold his living, breathing body against mine.I couldn’t believe what was happening.I couldn’t accept he might be gone.I refused to accept that.
Ethan eventually pulled into a quiet neighborhood, unpretentious houses with neat lawns and modest cars in driveways.Normal.Safe.He parked in the driveway of a home that had toys scattered on the front lawn—a tricycle lying on its side, a small basketball hoop, children’s chalk drawings on the driveway.Signs of a life, a family.Things Royce had wanted but might never have now.Bile rose in my throat as hatred surged.
I watched from my rental car as Ethan sat in his van for a moment, his head bowed, hands still gripping the steering wheel.He looked exhausted, defeated.Like a man who’d made terrible choices and was only now understanding the consequences.
I didn’t care about his exhaustion.I didn’t care about his regrets.
Moving quickly before I could second-guess myself, I climbed out of my car and crossed to his van.The gun felt awkward in my hand as I opened the passenger door and slid into the cab beside him.
Ethan’s head snapped up, his eyes going wide with shock and fear when he saw me.When he saw the gun pointed at him.
“Dr.Thornton—” His voice came out strangled, barely more than a whisper.
“Where is he?”My hand was astonishingly steady, considering the adrenaline pumping through my veins.My voice flat and cold in a way I’d never heard before.“Where’s Royce?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”Ethan’s hands came up instinctively, palms out in a placating gesture.
“Liar.”I shifted the gun slightly.“I want to know where Royce is.Tell me right now or I’ll pull this trigger.”
“I… I can’t tell you what I don’t know.”
“Don’t play dumb,” I snarled.“I know you and Stiles did something to him.Now, where is he?”
