Page 13 of Shame Me
“Don’t tell Zack. He already called me asellout.”
“What? Why? He knows we all need jobs.” I took a sip of my coffee. When I muttered, “What an asshole,” Braden didn’t hear me because he was already responding to my first comment.
“Yeah, but he thinks I should go to the interview ‘looking like myself’.”
“Don’t listen to him. You look professional. I’d hire you right now.”
Grinning, he picked up his cup to take a sip. “Thanks. How’s your job search coming?”
“Not so good. Maybe I need to buy a suit too.”
“I’ll let you know how it goes. It might work.”
After we sat in silence for a good minute, my mind wandered back to my earlier quandary. Even though Braden looked different, I knew inside he was still my calm, kind friend, and I could trust him. In fact, I already knew I should and could trust him far more than Zack, the guy who’d already broken my heart more than once. So I just spat it out. “How do you know if you’re a good kisser?”
Once more, I’d almost caused him to spew his mouthful of coffee all over the table—and me—but he managed to swallow before that happened. Still, his eyes were full of questions when he said, “I don’t.”
“No, I don’t meanyouspecifically. I just mean in general.”
“I don’t know.”
I was dying to ask him how many girls he’d made out with, but Braden was definitely the kind of guy who never kissed-and-told. Up until this point, I hadn’t thought much about it, because he’d never had a serious girlfriend in high school—but there had been that short stint when Zack had been dating Ava that I’d suspected Braden had spent a little time with some of her cheerleader friends. More than that, though, I knew the girls in the audience might have fallen in love with Zack, but they also went crazy over the other two guys in the band. AlthoughI’d never looked at him or Cy through the lens of attraction, I could logically understand a girl finding them cute. Braden had the look of kind attentiveness that many females would find appealing, whereas Cy’s quiet, brooding demeanor was quickly making girls line up to talk to him.
Because I wasn’t without the occasional suitor, I wanted to feel prepared. I almost grinned at the thought of having “suitors,” as if our male fans would be wanting to date me or ask for my hand in marriage.
Nope. I wanted to be whisked away mentally by some of the hot guys surrounding the stage—because I already knew they wouldn’t be able to steal my heart. It already belonged to someone else.
“I don’t know, either.” I didn’t even know how to tell if someone kissing me was good or bad at it—but the times I’d been kissed, by Zack more than once and Danny at the concert, had lit up both my brain and body. Both of them had been doing something right. “But I know when someone kissingmeis good at it.”
Smiling, Braden nodded his head. “Yeah, you’re right. Me too.”
Ah…so he definitely had been kissed. As to everything else, I’d never ask, but I’d be stupid to think he was a virgin. Suddenly, I was inspired—and if it had been anyone else sitting there, I would have chickened out. But this was Braden…a complete non-threat and seriously sweet guy. “What if…I mean, we could evaluate each other? We could kiss—and I’d want you to be totally honest with me about what I needed to change. And I could do that for you.”
His chocolate eyes widened momentarily and I wasn’t sure why—and it looked like he was trying not to smile, making me believe he was going to turn me down. Instead, he said, “I have coffee breath.”
I started laughing. “So do I!”
“Let’s brush our teeth first.”
Holy shit. That meant he was all in.
We must have looked like a comical pair, both of us crammed in front of the tiny bathroom sink, scrubbing our teeth as if they had to pass inspection. But then, after we’d rinsed our toothbrushes, Braden turned to me. “Are you ready?”
No…not at all. “Sure.”
His eyes scanned mine and he leaned closer, slowly, as if I might change my mind. But I moved my lips nearer to him as well and, when we got close enough to touch, I closed my eyes. Even though this was just so he could evaluate my technique, making eye contact would have made everything feel way too weird. If he also closed his eyes, I didn’t know.
Cutting off my sight had another advantage—and that was to let myself forgetwhowas kissing me.
The touch of our lips was tentative at first but it wasn’t long before our tongues tangled in a dance, making me think of weeping willow branches swaying in the wind, brushing past each other, tickling and teasing.
And I got lost in all the sensations, forgetting for a moment that it was Braden I was kissing and that this wasn’t real.
Because it felt real. And it felt like magic.
When we parted, I was nearly breathless.
And suddenly nervous. “Well?”
