Page 71 of Shame Me
Zack took a big gulp of his coffee and winced because it was too hot. “I can’t say that we’ve ever had abadcrowd.”
We all agreed and grew silent. After a bit, Cy said, “I gotta tell you guys, though…I’m feeling really tired.”
Without hesitation, the three of us nodded our heads in agreement. I couldn’t see how this tour wouldn’t be taking its toll on anyone. To call itgruelingwouldn’t have done it justice.
After a while, the silence began to feel heavy—and I knew Cy was right. It was because we were overly tired. So, rather than dwelling on it and on everything that had been weighing down my mind, I decided to try to lighten it up a bit. “So far, what’s been your favorite thing that’s happened on the tour?”
“This leg or the last leg?” Cy asked.
“Either.”
“Our first show. Even though so much went wrong, it was a show I’ll never forget.”
Zack said, “My favorite moment was when they asked us to do an encore tonight at the end of our show.”
“Too bad we couldn’t do it,” Braden said.
“We’ll get to when we headline.”
“What about you, Bray?” I asked.
His face gave something away—but I couldn’t tell exactly what. He looked like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. But then he said, “I think it’s a toss-up between Zack and Cy’s.”
And what a stupid question I’d asked…because my favorite part had been finally connecting with Zack—and now I was worried that I’d arrived at the scene way too late. Being in a relationship wasn’t helping him at all.
And there was no way I was going to say that—especially because of the vibes I was getting from Braden. Had I missed something along the way? Did he have feelings for me that went beyond friendship?
No. Although I’d wondered that before, it had to be my imagination.
To answer my own question, I decided to take the easy way out like he had. “Yeah. I have to agree that those were both magical moments.” When I took a sip of my coffee, I imagined it was what motor oil tasted like if you added creamer to it.
But it was warm, just what I needed.
After a couple more minutes, both Zack and Cy finished their coffee. “I’m gonna head back,” Zack said.
I was worried that it meant he was ready to start drinking something with more punch. “One of us should go with you.”
“I’m not worried about this neighborhood.”
I wasn’t either. Instead, I was concerned about his likely behavior that could happen between here and the bus stuck back at the venue.
Cy said, “I’m ready to go back too—if you’re okay with some company.”
“Yeah, man. Of course.” Zack kissed me on the forehead. “You okay if we head back without you?” Although I nodded, it wasn’t as if I felt like I had any say in the matter. He and Cy paid the waitress for their coffee, overpriced, in my opinion, and headed out.
And that left Braden and me in the booth facing each other. “Dani…how are you holding up?”
“Probably just as well as you guys, I imagine.”
“No. I mean…with Zack.”
I’d sensed from the beginning that Braden wasn’t too thrilled about my relationship with Zack, and I could imagine all kinds of reasons why. I was driving a potential wedge intheirfriendship. And then, of course, there was Zack’s old argument about it possibly causing a problem with the band.
But, in the back of my mind, that inkling started to grow. What if his issues with the relationship had to do with feelings he had for me?
No, that couldn’t be it. That was just my ego talking. Why would Braden think about me in that way when it had probably been clear to the entire planet that Zack had always been the one for me?
So I figured I could be completely honest with him. I knew we’d both considered Zack our best friend—and, as a result, we’d naturally become close as well…and we had a mutual interest in wanting to make sure our friend and leader was going to survive. “I’m really worried about him. It’s like…he’s falling apart. Self-destructing. And I don’t have a clue how to stop it. I feel like I’min a car going a hundred miles an hour heading toward a cliff and the brakes have stopped working.”
