Page 85 of Shame Me
That was the final straw. Every last flame of fury rose up in me and I turned, my right hand formed into a fist before I even knew what I was doing—and he must not have expected it either, because he was looking at their rhythm guitarist, smirking at what he’d thought was a funny joke, paying no attention to me.
All my strength and anger flowed through my fist, connecting with his jaw. As I grabbed my hand, pain radiating through it, he turned and glared at me. “What the fuck?”
“My periods are none of your goddamned business—any more than yours are mine!”
The singer and other guitarist made noises that indicated they thought what I’d said was funny—but they were subdued. Turning, I started walking toward my dressing room, holding my right hand with my left to stave off the pain as I wondered if I’d broken any bones.
I wasn’t going to apologize.
“What a cunt,” he muttered—but he was quieter, obviously not wanting me to turn around again. Or, at least, that was what I’d thought. But then he said, his voice louder, “You need to put a fucking leash on your girlfriend.”
Ah…my band members had finally exited the stage.
Picking up the pace, I stormed to my dressing room. I didn’t want to face any of them—because I had no allies here. Again, I wished I had a female friend I could talk to, but there wasn’t a soul. For a brief moment as I opened the door to my dressing room, I thought I’d even gladly take Ava.
But no… a toxic friend who constantly degraded me was worse than being alone.
I slammed my door and scanned the room. I wanted to punch more things, even though my knuckles stung, but now I was sure all my bones were intact. Still, I wanted to release my fury on the world…but it was misdirected, misguided. My anger needed to be turned toward myself, for being such a tool, forbeing a gullible idiot to believe Zack; and toward Braden, for keeping Zack’s infidelity from me; and, most of all, Zack.
I had loved that boy from the word go, and he’d done nothing all these years but break my heart over and over. And I didn’t know which hurt worse—being refused or being betrayed.
Of course, as soon as I crossed the room, there was a knock at my door. I shouted, “Go away!”
“Dani—”
“Get the fuck out of here!”
Instead of leaving, Zack opened the door that I’d failed to lock. “Dani—”
“Okay, fine. If you insist on being here, then tell me why. Why, after you promised, did you—”
“I never promised anything.”
“You—” But I stopped myself. Maybe he really hadn’t. Why had I thought he had?
Because I’d wanted us to work. Because I’d been a pathetic, lovesick puppy who felt like Zack was her soulmate.
“But you knew I didn’t want you to cheat on me. You knew I expected you to be faithful, regardless of any promise you might not have made.”
“I told you—”
“I don’t give a shit what youtoldme. What you did was wrong.”
The look on his face made me want to punch him just like I had Ashen’s drummer. “What I did was what any red-blooded male in a band would do. I worked hard for it all, Dani. For the money that’s coming our way, for the adoration of fans, both in the crowd and in my dressing room. And I deserve it.”
There was a volcano inside and I couldn’t figure out how to keep it from blowing. But I clenched my hands into fists at my sides and hit him with words. “Well, youdon’tdeserve me—and I don’t deserve to be treated like a fucking doormat.”
He actually had the nerve to roll his eyes. “God, I knew it.”
“Knewwhat?”
“You’re being overly emotional over something you should understand.”
“Understand? Are you kidding?”
Zack shook his head, looking up at a corner of the room as if pondering his entire life. “This is why I told you I never wanted to hook up with you in the first place. It’s bad for the band.”
“Hook up?Is that all I’ve been to you? Just a convenient fuck whenever you wanted it?” I couldn’t believe my ears—and I had to get away from him or Iwouldrisk breaking my hand. Quickly, I headed toward the door.
