Page 58 of Shame Me
“So there’s all these deductions,” Cy said, squinting at my phone. “Shit like facility and promoter fees, security and staffing, and all kinds of bullshit. So right off the top, a third of it’s gone. Then they divvy up the rest, and LFS takes eighty-fucking-percent.”
“Come on, man,” Zack said. “That’ll be us someday. They’re the ones drawing in the crowds. Hardly anyone knows us yet—so we’re paying for exposure.”
“Yeah, that might be true, but do you wanna go back to washing dishes after this goddamn tour? ‘Cause that looks like what’s gonna happen. If Dani’s numbers are right, we’re gonnaowethe record company after all this.”
Zack finally stood, towering over us all. “Yeah, but you haven’t accounted for merch or record sales or any of that shit. We have no idea about any of that.”
Cy asked, “The way I understand it, we won’t see a dime until all these costs are paid back.”
“Yeah,” I said, standing up as well, “and this doesn’t even count the other costs—studio time, shooting the video—”
“Fuck,” Braden breathed. “I forgot about that stuff.”
I dropped the notebook and it fell on the bed. “Yeah.Nowyou see why I’m freaking out.”
“You know what?” Zack asked. “I’ll wash dishes when we get back to Denver if that’s what it takes. I’ll start scheduling shows again too, because I guarantee we could play bigger venues when we get back. We’ve put out a fucking album. People are gonna want to see us. And do you have any better ideas?”
“I do,” Cy said, storming out of the room.
“What the hell is he doing?” I asked.
“Great job, Dani,” Zack said.
“Fuck you. You don’t even give a shit—and youshould.”
“You need to have faith in the process.”
But I didn’t. Not after seeing all the numbers. What if our albumwasn’tselling? What if nobody was buying our merch? What if no one was streaming our music?
That would mean we’d never earn anything…that we would have been better off playing all those different little venues back in Denver where we actually earned a little here and there. Already I was rethinking my entire path—because if this was all we would get with sold-out shows, we wouldn’t have a chance. Something Cy hadn’t mentioned was how much the mid-tier band took from receipts, and it wasn’t much more than we did…which meant even a second or third album might not make much difference.
“It’s hard when I see the cold numbers,” I said to my friend, wishing I could get through to him.
“This tour was supposed to be our big break—and you’re pissing all over it.” Zack’s words were like a knife to my heart.But worse was watching him walk toward the door. “I can’t listen to any more of this.”
Knowing he was probably going to resume drinking, I said, “Zack, just—”
“Nope. I’m done.”
When the door closed behind him, Braden said, “Don’t let him bother you. He might not want to hear it, but I don’t want to live in the dark pretending everything’s okay.” When Cy knocked on the door, Braden let him in. “Where’d you go?”
“I wanted to ask Mick about our other earnings. He said the label handles all that—and he tried to shut the door on me, but I kept digging. We should know about merch sales and net earnings by the end of the tour, but album sales and stuff we probably won’t know until January.”
“January?” Braden repeated. “Why that long?”
“He said they report quarterly.”
“So…” I said, plopping on the bed, causing a chip to fall off my paper plate. I felt more defeated than when I’d started. I’d brought it up, hoping to have a discussion about how to cut costs—but now I didn’t see how that could be done. “From the outside, it looks like we’re killing it—sold out shows, and our first single getting radio play. And the fans seem to be eating it up…and yet it looks like we’ll end this tour deeper in debt than when we started.”
Cy’s voice still had an angry edge, but he sat back down in the chair he’d been in earlier. “But maybe Zack has the right idea. I don’t want to think about this shit when I’m on stage. I need to be focused on the art and on making fans love us. Maybe the moneywillcome.” Braden sat down in the other chair next to him. “How much did you say LFS’s cut is?”
“Eighty percent of net ticket sales.”
“Then maybe we just need to hold out till we’re as big as they are.”
The question inmymind was if we could make it till then.
CHAPTER 17
