Page 62 of To Claim A King
Before I could offer an apology, an explanation, or beg her forgiveness, she leaped at me like a cautious spider monkey and wrapped her compact frame around mine in a bruising hug. It was painful, but I welcomed the warm embrace.
The lump in my throat grew from a small pebble to a clogging boulder as I pulled back to stare at my best friend, the woman who’d seen my soul and loved me anyway.
“Hey,” I managed to get out through the massive stone sitting on my vocal cords.
“Hey.”
Her eyes, a calming blend of blue and green, roved over me carefully, as if I would shatter if she stared too hard. They lingered on my bandaged feet, and she scrunched her nose and her eyelids closed, catching the shimmer of tears collecting on her lash line.
“Oh, Hill.” Her voice broke, and she closed the distance between us again, this time gently wrapping me in her arms. I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled the familiar concoction of vanilla and lavender. It instantly soothed the ache in my chest.
She backed away and sought my stare again, shinier this time. “I am so sorry you’ve had to go through this. Kellan told us a little, but I know there are a lot of gaps in there.”
She stroked a hand down my arm and grabbed my hand in hers, settling it in her lap as she took the space beside me Lucky had occupied just minutes before.
“Are you ready to tell me the real story?”
Winter had a subtlety in her softness that could easily be misconstrued as weakness. It wasn’t. Where I was a calculative bull, she was an observant mare, tactical and shrewd when she had the right information.
Her expression was open and nonjudgmental. She waited out my timid silence, her patience far more cultivated than mine. It was her greatest gift, and today I cherished its grace instead of being annoyed by it.
I’d never shown her my true darkness. She’d been exposed to my shadows but never the demons that lurked within them. I wasn’t afraid of her reaction, but more afraid of how she’d view me after the fact. A victim, on a crusade because I’d allowed someone else to break me. The vulnerability of being seen so clearly was scarier than any of the predators I’d ever faced.
She wouldn’t hate my darkness—I knew her well enough for that. But I’d lied to her, withheld important information about my life and my whereabouts for years, not the actions of a true best friend. Could she forgive me? Would I be able to live with myself if she didn’t?
Nausea hit my gut with a powerful punch at the thought of losing her because I had valued protecting her over trusting her with my deepest secrets. I was Kellan in this scenario, and I’d hated the way he’d made me feel for years, all under the guise of protection. Did she feel the same way about me?
Despite these reservations pushing bile into the back of my throat… it was time.
The need to move on from the hell of my own making superseded my fragile ego. I wanted Winter and her family to be in my life until the end of time, and that meant some brutal, tragic honesty.
So, I opened my mouth for the greatest confession of my lifetime. One the police would never hear, but would salivate for. I allowed a cautious smile and concentrated onthe freckles on top of her cheeks, larger than Lucky’s and a different shade of brown.
“When I was in college, I fell in love with a woman named Isabella…”
I allowed the emotion of the story to overtake me, sobbing through Isabella’s death, Alec’s involvement, and everything I had done to avenge his crimes. How I let it consume me, how it consumed me still—how even after the torture we endured, Antonio was still alive. How I’d found three men to love, and I had no idea what to do or where to go next. How that was potentially scarier than the cartel king with a price on our heads.
She laughed along with me when I admitted how Lucky and I actually met and I had pegged him as a challenge. She sobbed her own tears when I spoke of Isabella’s downfall. She clutched me harder when I recounted, in less graphic detail, Carmen’s assault and our near-death experiences. Winter had her own encounter with gunpoint trauma at the hands of Antonio’s dead son, and we commiserated over the Carlos family, thankful Antonio hadn’t outright ruined the men we loved.
“I love you, Hill.”
She’d laid down beside me, her head snuggled into the crook of my neck, arms loosely wrapped around my abdomen. I rested my chin on the thick mop of auburn hair and let her heartbeat set mine, more grateful than ever for her presence in my life. My men filled a hole no one else could, but Winter’s friendship was my most precious gift.
“I love you, Sweets,” I returned, favoring the nickname I’d given her all those years ago. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you any of this sooner.”
“Well,” she teased, “that would have been one hell of a text.” Her fingers trailed a soft outline along the pattern of my hospital gown. “But I know why you didn’t.”
She shifted to look me in the eye, an unsettling sincerity in her stare. “You realize this changes absolutely nothing,right? I mean, I’m probably going to worry about you more now, at least until someone finds Antonio, but this changes nothing. I’ve always known you are a badass—you’ve just confirmed it.”
Fresh tears of relief formed, and I smiled fiercely through them. “Don’t go thinking this means I can’t protect you—Shane’s going to have hell to pay if he ever hurts you.”
Her obnoxious snort drew a snicker from my chest. “Why is it always Shane with you? Not even Logan gets under your skin the way he does.”
“He has a talent.”
Her grin sobered, and her tone turned serious. “Do you think you’ll stay in Carlisle?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “It’s no longer just me I’m considering. But the things that used to matter to me just… don’t anymore. I can’t see myself wearing polyester soon but… maybe I need some time to reevaluate.”
