Page 29 of Cruel Russian King
She started pacing in front of me, every word she spoke next landed like a stab wound to the chest.
“I promised that I wouldn't call my family and I haven't! Iobeyedyour fucking rules! You think I couldn't take one of the cars and drive home? Or ask one of the people on the street to call Lev or drive over to see Kira?! I thought not doing any of those things would get me some brownie points but I was wrong!Even Lev didn’t have me like a prisoner! We had guards! You have guards…but you still keep me bound to this place like a genie in a lamp!”
She stopped pacing, her chest heaving as she faced me.
“I’m accustomed to being around people I love and people who love me. I love being outside…shopping, dancing, painting, visiting our families…” Her voice cracked, as she wiped away the tears that began to run down her face.
“I've never felt this alone ever…I don't know if I can do it anymore…”
Ninel tried to hold back her sobs, but they broke free. I moved toward her and pulled her into my arms. She resisted at first, fists pounding against my chest, before she finally collapsed against me, clinging to my shirt.
It felt as though Ninel's pain was transferred to me through the tears that soaked through my shirt and seared my chest.
For the first time in years, something in me broke and fucking guilt roared through my chest like wildfire. I’d caged her, snatched her away everything she had been, everything she loved. Of course, she wasn’t the same bright, laughing girl I remembered. How could she be, when I’d stripped her bare and left her with nothing?
If I wanted that Ninel back, which I did, I had to face the truth: it wasn’t her who had changed. It was the environment I placed her in. And I knew then and there that I had choices to make.
When her sobbing quieted, I pulled back just enough to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
“Ninel, I’m not trying to keep you a prisoner. The ghost enemy has been tearing through the faction. Right now, being out and about isn’t safe.”
She tilted her head, thinkingabout my words. I hadn’t lied…but I hadn’t given her the full truth either.
“Are Yegor and Zahkar okay? I know Kira will be safe at home with the guards. My brothers always did the same when we were under heavy attack.”
“They’re fine.”
They were alive but tired, with Zahkar having a sprained wrist trying to get some of our people to safety last night. But, I wasn't about to tell that to Ninel, she'll worry about him.
Her palms flattened against my chest. “And you? How are you dealing with everything?”
God, I loved having her hands on me.
“Nothing I can't handle.”
There was no way I was going to tell her how bad things were getting. The last thing I wanted Ninel to think was that I wasn't a competent faction leader.
For a moment, we just stared at each other. My arms tightened around her, pulling her closer. I was savouring the moment because I didn't want to let her go.
I brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Have you eaten?”
As much as I love Ninel's ferocity, I couldn't deny that I enjoyed the innocent way she was looking up at me now.
“I haven’t.”
“Then have lunch with me. We can have it in the gazebo.”
Her face lit up. “Like a picnic?”
“Yes.” I smiled. “Like a picnic.”
I took one of her hands in mine, then used the other and pulled out my phone. I ordered the chef to prepare a basket with fruit, cheeses, pastries, salad, cookies, chocolate, and wine. I told him to take the things to the gazebo with a blanket before hanging up. I slipped the phone away and looked back at her.
“Printsessa, I’ll take you into the city soon. But promise me you won’t sneak out again…not while things are like this.”
Because I can’t lose you…
I bite my tongue so the words wouldn't tumble out of my mouth.
