Page 49 of The Speed of Lightning
Her stomach dropped. She shut her eyes, unable to bear the pity. “I understand. Perhaps if we put out the fire—so you cannae see them?”
A sound escaped him, almost pained. “I’ve told you, lass—there is nothing disappointing in your appearance. If we knew each other better, I’d not be putting the fire out. I’d be lighting more candles to see my bride in all her glorious beauty.”
Her stomach flipped over. She wanted to disbelieve him, but his face was earnest.
“What I mean,” he continued, “is that I dinnae wish you to force yourself into an act that will mean little to you, but much to me.”
Her heart sank. “I want to please you.”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a wry smile. “You please me without trying. What I want is for you to love me.”
The simple statement broke her heart. How could he speak so deeply when she still felt so lost? Almost without thinking, she touched her fingertips to his cheek. “You dinnae need to fret you’ll hurt me. I ken the way of things. I’m sure you’ve had many paramours on Mull, and will be gentle.”
He gave a grim chuckle. “I’ve had flirtations. But only one lass has ever laid claim to me. Only one woman I’ve ever loved.”
A pinch of jealousy twisted in her chest, and she pushed the thought of another woman aside. “I remember you were popular with the lasses. You spent so much time in the marshes I thought you were part sedge yourself.”
He laughed, his hands tracing her neck. “Perhaps I should take you to a marsh, then, to kiss you properly.”
Heat washed through her, melting her insides, but her mind froze with panic.
He let her go. “You look as if I’ve asked whether you’d like me to draw and quarter you.”
She covered her face, her stomach knotted, breath coming fast. “I’m no’ Anneli. I dinnae know what I’m doing. And you—you’re verra braw. I dinnae know where anything is meant taeland, or how tae breathe, or how it goes. All of it is a mystery to me.”
Laughter carried across the small bothy, and she lowered her hands. He had moved to the shelf bed, drawn back the white sheets, and rolled onto the straw tick. “Which is why we’ll wait. Come, wife—coorie in.”
Bog had sprawled before the fire, already snoring. She glanced toward the trenchers. “I’ll just wash up.”
Calum shook his head, stretching out an arm to her. “No need. I promise, I only want tae hold you. No marsh maneuvers.”
Keeping his plaid snug around her shoulders, she stepped closer. His hand closed gently around her wrist, guiding her into the bed beside him. A blanket fell over her legs, and she lay stiff as a board, hovering.
With his fingers he pushed gently on the center of her forehead, settling her hovering head onto the solid cradle of his arm. “Did ye ken ye must lay your head down tae sleep, MacSorley?”
The remark reduced her to hysterics. All at once, the absurdity of the past four weeks crashed over her—a cauldron accident, a plea to be saved—and here she was, lying in her marital bed beside her husband.Her husband.A man who could not have been less like Rory MacDonald if he tried. A man who, with a single quip, had made her laugh until no sound came out and tears rolled down her cheeks. Mortified, she tried to stifle her chortles, only to snort aloud, which made her seem all the more ridiculous.
His hand threaded gently through her hair. “I love your laughter. You have the most beautiful smile God ever created.”
She quieted, wiping her eyes. “Did He create everything?”
“Aye.”
His fingers massaged her scalp, and she relaxed as though she’d sipped uisge-beatha. “By Himself?”
“Aye.”
“Then why does the priest say, ‘In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,’ if He was by Himself? Were the others no’ there?”
He chuckled softly. “They were all there. One God, showing Himself in each and every way we need—guiding us as Father, saving us in His Son, and living with us in the Spirit, here in our hearts.” He touched a finger to her collarbone.
“Does He become them as we need?”
“No. He is all of them at once, always, and yet distinct in each.”
“How?”
His voice dropped low, kind. “He’s a great God, lass. Everywhere at once—in the vastness of the heavens, and in the smallest whisper of our hearts.”
