Page 64 of The Speed of Lightning
“Rory.”
The name caused a rupture of sobriety and he forced himself higher in the seat. “Why are you afraid of Rory? You were betrothed to him. I thought you preferred him—and I’ll be honest, Freya, in this moment I am struggling to believe otherwise.”
“I didnae tell you everything.”
A fierce swell of protectiveness rose inside him. His heart pounded, senses circling like a hound catching scent of danger. “What else have you left out?”
Ashamed, she dropped her gaze to the floor. “The week before you returned, they had me scribe our banns. I stopped before I finished and told them I wouldnae marry him. He reacted badly.”
“The bruise on your cheek?”
She nodded, then jutted her jaw to show a chipped bottom tooth. “He is jealous. Ruthless. Relentless. He knows secrets about every clan and chief in the Isles. And now that I’vespurned him, I fear he’s taken it personal. I need you, Calum. I’m afraid.”
Fire scorched through his muddled senses. He wanted to sweep her into his arms, but everything felt tainted. He wasn’t sure what was allowed now and what wasn’t. What part of his affection she welcomed or merely tolerated.
Forcing his chin up, he met her remorseful eyes. “So I am truly a means to an end, then.”
Her eyes went wide. “No, Calum—it’s no—you’re twisting my meaning. I dinnae know how to explain. All I know is that I am telling you this because I realize that I was wrong.”
People had wed for worse reasons. Could he truly blame her for seizing any escape from her life she could? Yet the knowledge that she held no affection for him burned in his breast, blotting out all else.
“Do you believe I will protect you until my dying breath?”
Her gingery brows knit “Aye. I trust you more than anyone.”
For a moment his chest swelled—then he crushed the tenderness down. “I wish I could say the same.”
Her head bowed again, stricken.
His eyes focused on the tear in the front of her dress. “What happened in the woods, Freya? Tell me the whole story.”
Her voice was small. “I spied a shadow in the woods walking home. I thought it an animal and made my way back along the loop, hoping to avoid it. When I passed the half-sunk boulder I looked behind me and realized it was a man. I called to him, hoping it was a villager or perhaps Murdoch because of the quiver on his back. The man was dressed in a cowl, it was so dark I couldnae make out his face. He drew an arrow and shot?—”
In an instant he was on his feet, staggering toward his armor, feeling as though heavy blocks were tied to his arms and legs.
“Calum, ye cannae go outside and search. You’re not well. I couldnae bear it if you were hurt. What would I do if I lost you?”
He buckled on his cuirass feeling wounded. “If something should happen to me, you will bear the protection of my father. The clan doesnae know we have no’ brought our marriage to completion this night. You must make them believe we have, that you carry my heir. Use me to get out of here.”
Tears blinked in her eyes. “That’s no’ what I meant.”
He tried to keep the bitterness from his voice as he snatched the green stocking from the rung of the ladder. “It is my part of our arrangement, wife. If something happens, have my father take you to Lochbuie. Hector and Cara will keep you safe and allow you to join their clan. You willnae live in fear again. Do not return to your father.”
“Arrangement? I didnae mean to deceive you?—”
He headed for the door. “You did mean it. Otherwise you would have told me before we took our vows. I admit it’s my own fault for feeling this way—that you would love me was my own foolish hope. This marriage repays you for all you’ve lost in the ten years since you helped me. I am no’ angry with you. Not for the tales, for your omissions, for how you feel. I see now what lies between us—and why you’ve made your choices.”
“Calum…”
Bog padded after him and he snapped at him, frustrated. “Stay! Stay with Freya.”
“Please don’t leave.”
“I’ll send Fraser down here to stay with you. Bar the door. Dinnae leave until morning.”
“Calum, please…”
Heartbroken, he wrenched the door open and ran.
