Page 44 of Between Never and Forever
“You have about the same amount of hair as three horse manes. You think it’s easy tying it up in a bun every time you go on stage?”
“Yeah. Well, I don’t expect I’ll be tying it up much anymore.” I glanced at Pink. “You said it’s a new look.”
She shrugged. “It’s necessary. Let your hair go free along with your brand.”
“See!” I spun to wink at Dimitri. “Everyone agrees this is a good idea except for you.”
“That’s because you’ve surrounded yourself with delusional friends.”
“Ones who believe in me.”
“Delulu is the new you-you,” Pink singsonged, and Dimitri groaned. “By the way, let’s see the engagement ring. Where is it?”
I shook my head. “I’m not wearing it until we’re actually publicly engaged.”
Olive chimed in. “Smart. Also, I’d like the record to state I’m not sure I’m all for this engagement, but I’m all for your new look.”
Dimitri’s eyes narrowed on Olive’s. “Look. I wanted her and Dex to work through their past, but get engaged? You think she’s capable of handling all that along with a rebrand?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I interjected.
“You want me to spell it out for you?”
I frowned at him because I highly doubted he would. “Please do.”
“Why do you need this rebrand now? Why not in a year or two or even three?”
“I don’t know. There’s a lot of reasons,” I said. Yet, I looked away from my best friend, and he caught me immediately. He knew as well as I did there were only a few reasons I kept singing my songs to the masses. It wasn’t for the fame. I hated the press. Hated my record label even more. And the money hadn’t been good until this Black Diamond deal with Dex.
None of that mattered though. It was for my family. For my mother. For her comfort. For her love. And maybe, hopefully, one day for her recognition.
“Why don’t you give us one big reason?”
I pushed off the bed and paced back and forth. “You want me to say it?”
“I want you to know that’s not what you should be doing this for.”
“Why?” I shrugged. “So what if it’s a little about my mom? I just want her to be comfortable and to maybe see—”
“Kee.” He sighed out my name, and I hated the sound because I knew what would follow. “Do you realize her comfort isn’t something you can fully provide and that she may not ever fully know you again?” That stopped my pacing. Those words hit me like a semi going seventy on the freeway and obliterated my optimism.
“It’s not about what we think. It’s about what’s possible. And it could be possible. You have no idea.” Olive was up and going toe-to-toe with Dimitri, mad he was trying to be realistic.
I stepped between them and shook my head, my hair swaying back and forth and covering up how I felt in that moment. They were both looking out for me in different ways. “Neither of you are wrong. It could go either way. But who would I be if I didn’t try?”
“Trying to push yourself through all this is asking for a breakdown. You want that on your image?”
“I’m capable of handling this, Dimitri.”
“Yes, I’m not arguing that you’re incapable. I’m arguing whether it’s healthy or not. You have to take care of yourself for once.”
“I am. I always do.” I crossed my arms.
“You have never put yourself first. And if I have to make sure to protect you from—” He was cut off from a voice behind us.
“Protect my fiancée from who?” Dex said.
I jumped and whipped around as Olive murmured, “Jesus.”
