Page 47 of Primary Seduction
Trent shook his head and looked at Asher and Sean, who wore identical “what the hell is going on” expressions. He bit his lip. Maybe him and Max had become too comfortable with each other over the last few days. Although, if they were going to make a go of this, then everyone would know soon, anyway. Trent tried to ignore their expressions and asked Asher about the kids he looked after. They spent the next half an hour talking about their individual jobs and funny anecdotes. Trent really had had a good time, although he’d struggled throughout to keep his hands to himself, after being so free to touch Max the previous day.
He just needed a little more time to think about what this meant. He was fairly certain he had no issues at all with being…whatever he was…he just didn’t want to let Max down if he came across something he wasn’t comfortable with.
He’d speak with Logan tomorrow, but maybe he could speak with Asher now.
“Asher?” He waited until he had his attention. “Can I have a quick word?”
“Sure.” Asher turned to Sean. “I’m just chatting with Trent, make sure Janie doesn’t sneak in for ice cream.” He pinned Sean with a look, which Trent interpreted as “make sure you don’t give Janie ice cream.”
They picked up their coffees and walked into the back garden, through to the garage conversion that had been completed last year. Asher had wanted to separate his childminding business from his personal home and had employed Sean to draw up the architectural plans for it. It was how they’d met. The conversion had been a godsend to hear Asher talk about it and his business had benefited from it.
Closing the door behind them, they sat at the table designated for the children’s dinner. “What’s up?” Asher asked.
“I like Max.” Trent just laid it on the table.
“I know you do.” Asher looked confused.
“No, Ireallylike Max.” Trent tried a little inflection in his voice, hoping Asher would get the hint without him actually having to say the words.
Asher continued to look confused for a second while he inspected Trent’s face, then Trent saw understanding dawn in Asher’s eyes. “Oh!”
“Yeah, oh.”
“All right. How do you feel about it?”
“Confused. Unsure. Content.” He paused thinking. “Did I mention confused,” he said, chuckling.
“I can imagine. How did it all come about?”
“Well, I’ve been feeling confused for a while, but ever since…” Trent paused, feeling his cheeks heat at the reason for his initial confusion.
“Since when?”
He took a breath. “Ever since you and Sean got together, I’ve watched your…interactions, and they’ve been…hot. God, this is so embarrassing.” Trent put his head in his hands, his face hot to the touch.
“Oh. Okay. Thanks for that.” Asher laughed a little self-consciously if Trent heard right. “And it has you confused about whether you like guys or not.”
Trent could tell that was a guess from Asher’s point of view, but he’d hit the nail on the head with it. He nodded. “I don’t want to string Max along if I’m going to realise in a few days, weeks, months that I’m not gay and it was just…I don’t know…an experiment, or whatever.”
“Firstly, you would never do that to Max. Secondly, there isn’t really much I can tell you. There’s no guide to being gay. Everyone feels differently to the next person. What I would say is that you need to trust your instincts and your feelings. Think about how you’d feel if you could never see Max again. That the moment we left the kitchen, you’d never be able to set eyes on him again. How do you feel about that?”
Trent thought, and his heart rate and breathing increased, he began to shake and shook his head.
Asher smiled. “There’s your answer.”
Trent blew out a breath, trying to calm his thoughts and remember Max was only a few steps away. He had never had that reaction to anyone before. Except the more he thought about it the more he realised he had. “My kids,” he stated.
Asher looked at him in confusion, once again. “Your kids?”
“I was just thinking I’d never had that reaction to anyone before. But I have. I have that reaction whenever I think about not seeing my kids. Fuck, Asher. I’m in way too deep, aren’t I?”
“Nah, you’re right where you’re supposed to be.” Asher covered his hand and squeezed. “Don’t overthink things. Take everything one day at a time. And make sure you talk to each other. Communication is key.”
Trent nodded, biting his lip. “Thanks.”
“Not a problem. Are you going large with this, or keeping silent while you work things out?”
“Silent for the moment. I was going to speak to Logan tomorrow, but I don’t really think I need to now.” He laughed.
