Page 34 of Deep Down
Chapter 13
Craig
“Someone will be back to pick you up in an hour, Craig,” Gloria confirmed as she clicked on the handbrake of the wheelchair after rolling him in to see the psychologist.
“Thank you.”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer to lay down?” Gloria frowned at him, and he halted his fidgeting.
“No, but would I be able to move to the comfy chairs?” His eyes pleaded with her.
“Oh, alright.” Gloria helped him move to the sofa, and he relaxed back into it with a sigh. Gloria chuckled. “Yeah. After that sigh, I’ll see to it you get some more pillows for your bed tonight.” With a smile, she closed the door behind her, leaving his guard stationed outside.
Craig focused on the woman in the chair opposite him.
“Good afternoon, Craig. I’m Amanda Bagworth. I don’t stand on ceremony here; you can call me Amanda.”
“Hi, Amanda.” Craig threaded his fingers together on his lap, hoping to keep from showing the twiddling he usually did when he was nervous.
“Don’t be worried. I will be writing notes as we talk, but please ignore me. I do it because my memory is atrocious, and I would never remember everything we talked about.” She snorted as she placed a notepad on her crossed legs.
“That’s fine. I don’t expect to have your undivided attention.” Craig wasn’t used to being the sole recipient of focus, except for when he was with Darren, and even then, he played second fiddle to Darren’s phone.
“Oh, you will have my undivided attention, don’t you worry. It is, after all, why we are here. Is it not?”
“I suppose.”
“Dr Wick tells me you were eager to speak with me. Can you tell me why?” Amanda’s gaze was focused solely on Craig, which was unnerving.
He glanced at his hands, frowning, trying to put into words what he was feeling. “Because I’m trying to reconcile the man I know—or knew—with the man other people are saying they see.”
“And how do you see him?”
“Darren has always taken care of me. He took care of the bills, maintenance of the house, replacing broken equipment. He allowed me to work from home, doing what I love. We went out with friends occasionally.” Craig peered at her. “He loved me.”
“And how do others say they see him?”
Craig shook his head, frowning some more. “They see him as an abuser. Someone who hurts me, someone who doesn’t care about my welfare.”
“Are you struggling to see that about him?”
He hesitated, eyes dancing around the floor. “Everything I thought was real, has been false, hasn’t it?” His voice sounded quiet and lost to his own ears.
“Has it?” Amanda cocked her head to the side. “I’m by no way condoning what happened, but wasallof it fake?”
Craig delayed his answer. “I don’t know.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“About not knowing?” he asked. Amanda nodded. “Confused. Wary. Alex seems to think it’s black and white.”
“Ah. Nothing is ever black and white. It’s all the colours that help you get from whitetoblack, which assists you in figuring out your thoughts and emotions.”
Craig lowered his gaze once more. It was better knowing there was no right or wrong answer, for some reason.
“Tell me about your relationship with Darren,” Amanda asked, her left hand resting on the wrist of her right on top of the notepad. She didn’t fiddle with the pen she held at all. It was as if she had learned not to make a single movement without considering the implications of it first.
“We met through my work. The company he worked for had asked him to source a website designer, and I’d been recommended. Most of our conversations during the design process were over the phone or by email. After the project was completed, the company offered me an annual membership to the gym as a bonus for getting it finished early. I agreed because I knew how much time I spent sitting down for work.” He shook his head. “I finally met Darren on my first visit. He’d wanted to introduce himself and offered to show me how to use the equipment.” Craig glanced at Amanda. “You have to do those safety check things—I don’t know what they’re called—but they have to show you how to use the equipment before they let you do it yourself.”
