Page 53 of Deep Down
Chapter 20
Craig
Craig exhaled as he hustled through the corridors towards his appointment. He had plenty to discuss with Amanda today; he was confused about what was happening with Alex and needed a sounding board.
They’d been meeting in the restaurant every Thursday after his sessions for the past six weeks, but Craig was feeling…apprehensive every time Alex was late. While he was waiting, Craig would go through all the things that could have gone wrong for Alex to be late, watching the entrance, hoping Alex would walk through it. Every time Alex entered, Craig’s muscles would unclench, and his hands would ache from how hard Craig had been wringing them together.
Once the initial anxiety faded, Craig had a great time getting to know Alex; he was funny, kind, hard-working and calm, compelling some of it to rub off on Craig. Once Alex left, either at their usual finish time or when his pager went off—which was another cause of panic for Craig—Craig could feel the tension seeping back into his body.
After doing some of the homework Amanda had given him, he was able to dissect some of his own thought processes and understood he was worried about Alex, but what he couldn’t work out was why.
And there was the reason he needed a sounding board.
“I’m struggling to figure some things out.” Craig got right to the point.
“What things?” Amanda sat, legs crossed, clipboard resting on her knees and pen poised as she awaited his answer.
“Alex.”
“Okay. What part are you struggling with?” Nothing phased Amanda; she took everything in as if there were no problems that couldn’t be fixed.
Craig slumped back in his seat with a sigh. “Well, you know I’ve been meeting with him.” She nodded. “But I’ve become anxious whenever he’s late or is paged and has to leave. I know I’m worried about him, but I don’t understand why.” He unlinked his hands from where they were clenched on his lap.
“Do you know if you are worried about him missing the meeting altogether or are worried about what happens with his job?” she asked.
Craig glanced to the floor, considering her question while rubbing the tension away from his forehead. “I know he will meet up if possible. He’s not like that. He wouldn’t leave me there without telling me if he didn’t want to carry on.”
“So, you’re concerned about his job. What do you think Alex does in his job?”
Craig frowned at Amanda in confusion. “He’s a doctor, of course.”
“Yeah, but what does him being a doctor entail in reality, do you think? Has he ever explained his job to you?”
“He’s not told me, no. But it’s obvious, isn’t it? He looks after people, takes care of them. He has to deal with horrible patients and visitors. He works long hours, keeping him on his feet all the time. He gets a couple of days off but has to cover for people if they’re off sick or something.” Craig shrugged.
“If Alex didn’t tell you about his job, where did you get this information from?” Amanda gazed at him.
Craig pondered his answer. “Well, I’ve seen some of it from when I was here. And, obviously, TV.” He scrunched his nose up. “That’s probably not the best source of information,” he concluded.
Amanda smiled. “If you are worried about Alex, the best thing you can do is ask him about his job. I can alleviate some of your worries, but not all. Alex is not an A&E doctor, so the public he is around is usually less…feisty, shall we say. Yes, he sometimes covers in there, because of staff absences, but he’s a ward doctor. Do you know the difference?” Craig shook his head. “A ward doctor deals with patients who have finished in A&E and have been moved to a ward for longer-term care like you had. Did you notice he was tending to you while you were in here?”
“Yeah, I thought he kept coming to see how I was. I’ve seen him several times working in A&E.” Craig’s tension seeped out of his body as understanding dawned. “I was worried about him being hurt in A&E by ungrateful people.”
“I think that is some of it, yes.” Amanda bit her lip. “If I said to you that you couldn’t see Alex for the next six weeks, how do you feel about the idea?”
Craig’s pulse increased and his palms were sweating. He linked his fingers back together to hide his reaction. “I’d be fine.” His voice was shaky.
Amanda narrowed her gaze as she inspected him up and down. “Your body language answers differently.”
Craig exhaled shakily. “I need to stay away from him, don’t I?”
“That’s not for me to decide, Craig. If you believe you have a good friendship with Alex, great. If you feel like you are dependent on him, that’s not as good. Only you can answer your question, I’m afraid.”
Craig left the session more aware of his thoughts. And understanding what needed to be done. He strode towards the lifts, which would take him to where he was meeting Alex.
He was gripping his coffee cup when Alex arrived five minutes late.
“Sorry, a visit lasted longer than expected.” Alex smiled at Craig as he sat opposite, in front of a cup of coffee Craig had already purchased. “How are you today?” He took a sip.
