Page 19 of Love Me, Daddy
“You’re welcome. Eat up.”
Loren watched as Nathan picked up his fork and speared pieces of chicken and pasta onto it, placing it in his mouth, pulling the tines out again and licking his lips before chewing with a puckered brow. Loren didn’t interrupt his musings. If Nathan had questions, Loren wanted him to ask when he was ready.
They ate in silence—comfortable silence—until Nathan had finished his plate. Seemingly snapping out of a daze, Nathan glanced to Loren, eyes wide.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Daddy!” Nathan spoke in a rush as he dropped his fork to the table.
“Calm down, Nathan. What are you sorry about?” Loren reached a hand forward and covered Nathan’s trembling one.
“I’ve not spoken to you since we sat. I didn’t mean to be so quiet. I was thinking about everything that has happened since I met you, and I thought about Robbie and Daisy and the things I had to do…previously. I didn’t realise how long I’d been thinking until I saw my plate was empty. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I would never do—”
Loren stood, halting Nathan’s words, crouching next to Nathan’s chair. “Shhh, sweet boy. Calm down. Take a breath for me, okay? Breathe, that’s it.” Loren rubbed a circle on Nathan’s back while holding a hand over both of Nathan’s in his lap. “Right, one more. That’s it.” He waited until Nathan had followed the instruction. “Have you finished your dinner?” Nathan nodded, eyes downcast. “Okay. Let’s sit on the sofa and talk for a while, alright, sweetheart?”
Loren pulled him to standing, and, not letting go of his hand, led him to the sofa where he sat and pulled Nathan onto his lap. At first, Nathan sat upright until Loren placed a hand on his back again and tugged him closer.
“Right, now. Let’s have a chat.” Nathan tensed in his arms again, and although Nathan was snuggled under his chin, Loren knew he was about to apologise again. “You have nothing to apologise for,” Loren cut in before Nathan could say a word. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I have lived most of my life without someone to chat at the kitchen table. It’s not a new scenario for me. You don’t need to worry about offending me. I will say, however, if there is something you want to talk to me about or something you are worried about, I would love it if you could share it with me. I fully believe in ‘a problem shared is a problem halved,’ but,” he continued, rubbing Nathan’s back again, “you don’thaveto. My role as your Daddy is to look after your wellbeing, but also, to be there when you need someone. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
There was silence for a few seconds, then Nathan nodded against Loren’s chest. “I think I understand, Daddy.”
“Good. We need to talk through a few things, and there’s no better time than now. Sit up for me, Nate.” Loren helped Nathan rise from his position and sat him right next to him so he could see Nathan’s face. “I know you told me a little about what you wanted yesterday. Is there anything else you want from this relationship, Nathan?”
Loren watched emotions fly across Nathan’s face, then Nathan’s gaze dropped to the floor; he was pleased Nathan considered his answer, rather than automatically replying.
“I would like someone to take care of me and to help me figure out how to take care of myself properly. I would like an emotional connection with someone. And to have hugs and cuddles whenever I want them.”
Smiling, Loren cupped Nathan’s jaw. “I would love to be that person for you.”
Nathan’s gaze locked to his as he whispered, “I would love that person to be you.”
Loren leaned in, placing a chaste kiss to Nathan’s lips. “There are many things we need to discuss. For example, what do you want to happen about sex?”
Nathan blushed and ducked his head again. “I…I would like to have sex with you. I want you to give me what you think I need, Daddy. I don’t have experience of emotional sex, only…” Nathan trailed off, waving a hand around.
“I understand. We can figure it out together, how about that? And we will both get tested, so you know I’m safe.”
Nathan ducked his head. “And to check if I am, too, Daddy.”
“We’ll check us both, so we know we are both safe.” He paused. “You seem to be content with the ‘Daddy’ word since we started this. What do you want to do about our dynamic when we go out in public?” Loren had no preferences either way when it came to his public persona.
Cocking his head, Nathan bit his lip. “I think I would like to keep calling you Daddy. But…can we see when we do it? If it doesn’t feel comfortable, I won’t say it.”
“That’s fine, Nate. Thank you for taking the time to answer honestly.”
“What would you like me to do as your boy, Daddy?” Nathan stared at him with such openness and curiosity.
“I want you to be yourself. I don’t want you to change who you are for me. This will only work if we are honest with each other.”
“And what happens if I do something I shouldn’t?” Nathan bit his lip again, something Loren would need to curb him of; he hated the idea Nathan was hurting himself.
“Well, that is something we need to decide upon. We can have certain boundaries you need to work within or certain tasks, which need to be undertaken to make sure you are healthy and strong. And if your behaviour needs to be corrected, I will think of appropriate punishment.”
Loren heard an audible intake of breath and chuckled. His boy liked the idea of punishment, it seemed. He knew it wouldn’t take long for Nathan’s behaviour tochallengethe boundaries, whatever they may be.
“Okay, Daddy.”
“Good boy.” Lifting his hand to cup Nathan’s jaw again, he pulled him closer. “I think it’s time we sealed the deal.”
