Page 6 of Treehouse Whispers
Chapter 3
Benji had the final five paintings laid out on the living room floor, ready for him to package up for transporting to the gallery. After dinner the other night, he and Jamie had spent about an hour surveying the eight that had been chosen and deciding which would showcase him best. His style was abstract art, taking everyday things and showing them in a different way to how they are known.
They had decided on ‘The Motor’, which was a greyscale painting of curved lines and cubes looking decidedly like cogs with the odd splash of colour; ‘Evangelised’ was a sunrise of colours, the texture making it similar to feathers from wings; ‘Partners’ showcased a couple—if you could call flowing lines in a similar shape to a human body—wrapped around each other, each leaking colour and merging with the other; ‘Self-Actualisation’ was a riot of colour and shape all surrounding a single orange and yellow flame in the centre of the canvas; and ‘Who?’ was a painting which showed the canvas divided between greyscale and colour with sharp lines intersecting the other side.
Benji found ‘Who?’ to be the painting most closely fit himself: two sides warring with each other and trying to figure out where they belonged within the whole. In some ways, he didn’t want to part with it, but in others, he needed it gone. It was far too close to home as far as he was concerned.
He scanned them one final time before crouching to start. It wasn’t as easy as just wrapping it in bubble wrap. The gallery expected them to be contained properly to avoid getting damaged. Benji could have easily taken them to the gallery himself, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to. Therefore, Jamie was taking them for him. It was why he was spending such a long time making sure they were wrapped as best they could be. If anything happened to them while they were in Jamie’s care, Jamie would never forgive himself.
Benji was still wavering between whether the gallery was a good idea or not. He was opening himself up for criticism more than he did when he sold them online. But Jamie was right, more people probably saw them online than in person. Reminding himself of that didn’t help. He frowned as he worked, his mind racing through the different options open to him. He could continue selling them online, but a gallery would give him more visibility in a professional sense, rather than as just another guy who sells his paintings.
He wished he was “normal”. There was plenty he couldn’t do, and he was reliant on others. He hated it, but he couldn’t get past it. Half his life, he had dealt with this, hardly leaving the house except to go to school or uni. If he had his way, he would never be in public ever again. It was far too stressful for him: he started to shake, his palms became sweaty, white noise rang in his ears blocking everything else out, his vision dimmed, and he ended up with a headache or migraine at the end of it.
The first time Jamie witnessed it, they’d been eighteen. It had steadily become worse and worse as the years wore on, and he’d decided not to go to uni because of it. But Jamie had persuaded him to go to the open event to see what it was all about.
They had entered through the doors and managed to get to the art department before the shakes had become so bad, Benji couldn’t stand still. His vision had dimmed a great deal that he’d been almost walking blind. In hindsight, it was lucky Jamie had gone with him. They’d ended up viewing the bathroom there, allowing Benji to calm a little before driving home again. Afterwards, Jamie’s protective streak took off. He did everything he could to make things easier for Benji. And Benji felt awful for letting him take some of the burdens from Benji’s shoulders.
Benji had signed on for going to uni even though he knew it would be a nightmare and a fight every single day. But with Jamie and their families supporting him, he had managed the first year, for the most part. The final year was a bit different. His anxieties had increased over the summer period, and he’d begun to see a psychologist. Going to uni became a struggle. Therefore, his parents had requested a meeting with the Chancellor of the university and asked if there was anything that could be done to help Benji finish the year.
The Chancellor had been good about it and said Benji could finish most of it from his home, but there would be some he would need to attend. They had come to the arrangement that Benji would attend as much as he could. Still, if he couldn’t, he would attend three separate sessions with the professor over the year to do the work which needed to be done onsite, but those could be done when Benji was feeling the strongest. They didn’t have to be done at a particular time.
Afterwards, life had become a lot less stressful for him, but a lot more reclusive, too. He went out on occasion, although never on his own. It was usually with Jamie or, if not, someone from their family, but he spent most of his time in his or Jamie’s houses or their gardens and the treehouse.
He finished wrapping the last painting and stood them up against the wall in the living room, wandering to the kitchen for lunch. Sitting with his re-heated pasta, he wondered what his life would’ve been like if he didn’t have Jamie. He shook his head not wanting to think about it because it was too depressing. He decided to head to his workroom to see if he could do a little more with Jamie’s birthday present until he had to stop for the day.
****
His alarm brought him out of his trance at four-thirty, and, immediately, his phone began to ring. He answered without checking who it was.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Benji. How’re you doing?” Jamie asked.
Benji grinned, the normal reaction whenever he heard Jamie’s voice. Heat gathered in his chest until he thought he would burst. Hearing from him always brightened Benji’s day. “I’m doing good. How was work?”
“I’ve just finished. I was wondering whether you felt good enough to go to my parents for dinner today?”
Benji paused, cataloguing his body and emotions as his psychologist taught him to do prior to making a decision. He felt centred, light-hearted and energetic at that moment. “Yes, I think I can manage.”
“Fantastic news, Benji. I’ll head back now and pick you up, and we’ll go straight away if that’s okay? Mum’s making your favourite.”
Benji preened at the proud tone of Jamie’s voice. “Sure, I’ll be ready.”
“See you soon.”
Benji sauntered to the bathroom to shower. He chose his favourite shirt and paired it with jeans before drifting downstairs. As he tied up his shoes, a knock sounded, and Jamie entered.
“Hey, you ready?” he asked.
Benji nodded, taking a deep breath. Despite his earlier feelings of happiness and energy, he could feel his heart rate increasing, but he went through his calming measures before standing and trudging towards Jamie. “Yep, ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Right, you know the rules. At any time, if you want to leave, let me know, and we’ll be gone, alright?”
Benji nodded again.
“Great, come on.” Jamie held out his hand.
Benji grabbed on for dear life, distantly noting Jamie hadn’t held his hand often in the past, and followed him to the car. The car journey itself was fine, he didn’t have to interact with anyone but Jamie, so in a way, it was like they were at home. But when Jamie stopped in front of Jamie’s parents’ house, Benji threaded his fingers together in his lap and stared at the door. He jumped when his car door opened.
