Page 18 of Spoil Me, Daddy
When Aaron ended the call, he blew out a breath. He needed to help Zaire, but he was struggling to figure out the best way to do it. The first thing he needed to do was to teach Zaire to have fun, to relax, to forget about problems for a short time because it would make it easier to deal with them.
Glad he’d already prepared a salad, Aaron quickly sliced the eggs, chopped the ham and added them and the couscous to the bowl. He packed it up with a jar of coffee in case Zaire didn’t have any and headed out.
When Zaire opened his door, Aaron raised his eyebrows at his choice of clothing. Zaire’s interpretation of something comfortable was black jeans and a red v-neck jumper, which, although looked fantastic on him, lacked his usual extravagance.
“You look good. Wouldn’t you prefer to wear something more your style?” Aaron asked as he followed Zaire down the hall to the kitchen.
“Nah, I’m good.”
Aaron pursed his lips but let the subject drop, knowing, by the sound of Zaire’s voice, he shouldn’t push.
The containers were placed on the counter, and Aaron divided the food between two plates, placing both on the kitchen island table along with cutlery. “Do you eat in here or somewhere else?”
Zaire shrugged. “Usually in here or on the sofa. The dining table hardly ever gets used unless people are visiting.”
“Alright, here it is.”
Aaron perched himself on the seat adjacent to where Zaire was, so their legs could touch if either wanted a source of comfort. To be honest, Aaron wanted to know whether Zaire would take the opportunity if it arose. Time would tell.
Throughout lunch, Aaron peppered Zaire with questions about music and films, which Zaire answered happily as he ate the lunch Aaron had prepared. Seeing it disappear made Aaron extremely satisfied.
Once they’d finished, Aaron washed up what had been used and led Zaire to his car. He opened the passenger door for him and, once he was seated, reached across to click the belt into place before closing his door. Whenever anybody asked about his need to take care of someone, he found it difficult to explain why he needed it so much. It was as if it was in his DNA.
Once they’d arrived, traded their shoes and started their game, Zaire appeared to relax, smiling more, laughing and generally having a good time, so it seemed. Aaron breathed easier knowing he had brought that joy to Zaire, despite Zaire’s reluctance to begin with.
They quickly worked their way through two games, which they each won one of, before Aaron took their shoes to trade back before linking their fingers and heading for the food area.
“Would you like a cheeseburger and chips?” Aaron asked
“That would be great.”
Aaron ordered two lots of the meal with drinks, paid and carried the tray to one of the high seated tables, where they could see a view of the rest of the bowling alley and people watch.
“I love watching how people act around each other. You can usually tell who has a crush on who, which couples are fighting, and who have recently started seeing each other. Have you ever people watched?”
Zaire shook his head, looking around at the customers. “No. I’m usually too preoccupied.”
“Is that what happens when you’re not enjoying yourself somewhere, or does it happen all the time?” Aaron asked as he dipped his chips into ketchup.
The chips were poured into the open burger container and the burger in his hands before Zaire answered, “A bit of both, I guess. I struggle to relax when I’m out unless it’s somewhere I feel safe, like Infinity. Anywhere else…” He shrugged and took a bite of his burger.
“Hence this afternoon’s clothing choice?” Aaron prodded.
Zaire sat back, his brow puckered as he finished what was in his mouth. “Why do you have a problem with how I’m dressed?”
“I don’t have a problem with it,” Aaron calmly stated. “I know it’s not who you are.”
“But it is! This is part of me! This is the part of me who can go out on ‘normal,’” Zaire used his fingers as quotes, “dates. This is the part who won’t get harassed.”
“I understand. I’d love for you to be able to feel comfortable in whatever you want to wear, regardless of what other people think or say. I’d love to be your buffer, your sounding board, your reassurance, your caring, everything you need to be yourself.”
“How can you? You’re not with me all the time.” Zaire crossed his arms on the table, gazing at his food.
“I want to giveyouthe tools to be who you are. My support, visible when I’m with you and within your mind when I’m not, will always be there. If you can see a way of being the person you want to be all the time, I will do my best to get you to that point, and Iamdetermined to get you there. I want you happy and whole.”
Aaron’s heart ached at the expression on Zaire’s face. It would take a while for him to believe Aaron could do that for him. Although Aaron needed Zaire’s complete trust for it to happen, which he reminded him.
“I’m working on it,” Zaire said, his mouth twitching.
